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  Home > Humor > Articles Popular: Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry      Authors: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z     

By George xx xx

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Excuse me.

It seems this nasty virus is effecting those of us who/whom are more fortunate, than those who/whom are less fortunate, in less obvious ways and means.

I just checked today’s TV lineup. It is pathetic. In all areas of human endeavor we hope things “will return to normal,” eventually. Within the domain of television programming, normal will not be good enough. If it is not better, I am going back to radio.

Excuse me for just a minute.

Well Hush My Puppies! A big white truck just pulled up in front of my estate, and stopped. Thinking I must be getting something Really Big, I hurried out to meet them. I was going to say, “ran out,” but you wouldn’t believe that…maybe I should have started this, “Once Upon a Time?”

Anyway, three big guys jumped out. I expected them to ask me where I wanted whatever they were delivering.

They said, “Where do you want this stuff?”

“Stuff?”

“Yeah, the whole truck is yours, isn’t it?”

A car pulled up behind them and a man jumped out and told the men to, “Put everything inside my house.”

“Your House?”

“Yeah, I just bought it…I’m moving in today.”

“You better think Again.”

“I don’t need to think!”

“I think you do!”

“I bought this place on Craig’s List. It was supposed to be a Garage Sale, but I bought everything!”

“I don’t remember selling it?”

“Well, you did…here’s the paperwork.”

Everything looked legitimate, except…”That’s not my signature!”

“What are ya talking about? You signed it.”

“No I didn’t!”

Apparently someone stole my identity and sold my house?

“OK men, start moving me in!”

I’m sure they couldn’t tell I was bluffing, “You do and I’ll put a hurtin’ on ya!”

“A hurtin’?”

“Yeah, it hurts.”

“I think you’re bluffing!”

“Damn!”

“You think you can beat these three big guys?”

“Not now…I’m having surgery.”
I reached into my pocket and pulled out a paper of my own.

New guy, “What’s that?”

“A writ of Habeas Corpus.”

“A what?”

“It means we can’t move you in,” said one of the movers.

“Damn!”

I never leave home without the writ. It stales them until after my surgery…then I can say I can’t fight them because I just had surgery.

“It’s a Win Win…Ain’t life grand!”

Penwose Out,
By George
NoPo8



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