Irregardless of what you think...

Irregardless of what you may think, this article is significant.

Microwave Perimeters
If we were to look inside my brain we would find a sectioned off area labeled, Microwave Settings, where all of my various heating times are stored in an intricate labyrinth that only I can decipher. It is suggested that anyone who wishes access, do so while I am alive, otherwise all is lost.

Some peoples have books to look in for correct cooking times, or quick web checks, or stickem notes posted around their kitchens. I merely look at the item and punch in the time. It is all pre-determined previously.

Editor’s note: The Great and Powerful Spell Checker has just informed me that I’ve misspelled “Stickem” and suggests, “Stickmen.” If I were not an unjealous man, I would think they are trying to grab the humor. Those of you who/whom have Stickmen Notes hanging around your kitchens please be advised.

The process is not without drawbacks however, and by no means foolproof. I must THINK about what I am doing, which is a bit of a pinch in early morning hours. Occasionally I boil-over a cup of coffee.
I just can’t punch in any ol numbers. Other errors have been known to occur. Like the time I punched in 5 minutes instead of 1˝, and blew up a bowl of oatmeal. That was rare but nevertheless quite messy.

The numbers are within my head, like a steel trap. Locked away for posterior. Who/whom soever would like to be included in my will and designated to receive such things in hard copies after my demise, need merely reply and you will be taken care of.

Ask me anything and I’ll tell you how long to cook it?

Penwose Out,
By George
NoPo8