Another character I seldom speak of...

THE WINO

Another character I seldom speak of, because he eludes me, is The Wino. Usually found in damp alleys with a crumpled brown bag and a bottle of Muscatel he frequently asks me highly intelligent sophisticated questions that I spend the rest of my days trying to answer.

As luck would have it, or not, I happened upon him last, several years ago. He had found a magic lamp and given me two wishes that have yet to show benefits. He said it contained a Slow Genie.

When he saw me approaching he looked around for a place to run but there was none. I had him cornered. As always he offered me a nip of the Muscatel knowing I would refuse, but on that day I dazzled him. I took the bag!
Once I got past the drool I found it to be rather tasty for a wino.

I reminded him he still owed me a wish. He looked in his bag of clutter and found the magic lamp.
He told me to rub it. I did. Nothing happened?

He said, “The genie may be out to lunch?”

I waited an hour and rubbed it again. Still no genie.

He said, “He takes long lunches.”

I waited another hour and rubbed it again. Still no genie.

He said, “Maybe you’re rubbing it the wrong way?”

I threw him the lamp. He rubbed it. A big puff of smoke filled the alley and when it dissipated The Genie stood before us.

I’m not so sure he came from that little lamp?

He could have been hiding behind a dumpster and popped out in the smoke, “Pretending” to have been in the lamp.
Irregardless, he was there.

He gave me three wishes.

I told him I already had three wishes and used two.

He asked how they turned out?

I told him I’m still waiting for the results?

He said, “Allah says, ‘Sometimes it is better to patiently wait, than to be disillusioned.”

The Wino reminded us I had one wish left.

The Genie folded his arms and asked my wish.

I told him, “Just make me Important…I always wanted to be Important.”

He shook his head… A big puff of smoke filled the alley and when it dissipated The Genie was gone.

I looked behind the dumpster and found nothing?

That was the last time I saw The Genie or The Wino.

In those days my wife had yet to go berserk and we were happily married and enjoying a somewhat routine marital existence.

She informed me that for months previous she had stopped taking her little blue pills and wondered why we had not conceived?

I had my doctor check to see if it was me during my next inspection.

“DAMN THAT WINO AND GENIE…There was an ‘R’ in there!”

Penwose Out,
By George
NoPo8