Now that the first week of NFL Football is over, what have we learned?
Obviously the main thing we’ve discovered is fans in the stands are useless. We do not need them.
In fact, in most cases the players play better without them. Showboating is no longer a factor.
There are no hecklers.
I’ve had post game interviews with maintenance crews who all say post game clean ups are, “Much Nicer,” with no fans in the stands.
“Mustard and ketchup stains are virtually eliminated.”
Ticket sales are no longer dependant on whether a team wins or loses, and ladies with Big Heads and Big Hats do not spoil the view.
The general consensus is, if it wasn’t for ticket revenue, there would be no fans in the stands.
The NFL is asking all fans to contribute heavily to the NFL Team of their choice to replace lost ticket revenues and allow you to stay home and watch the games with your wives.
Ah…several owners have received death threats and nasty jesters from that scenario and we foresee changes very soon.
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