Not for Prudes

Professor Ambrose Penwose, Kiwi
Covid Assumption

The following article is rated PCP, (Rude and Crude for a Prude)
If you are a Prude you may find this piece unsuitable, distasteful, and offensive.

There was a knock on my front door…then another, which was unusual because I have a sign on the door stating, “Knock…Then go away.”
I looked out through the little peep hole and saw the tops of four heads standing on the porch.

I grabbed my trusty baseball bat and opened the door to see several of my students, from The University, standing before me, which was of no surprise as they were not very good at following Instructions

“Hello Professor! Sorry to say we didn’t come to play cricket.”

“Do you have anything to eat?” asked another.

Yet another stated, “We knocked, went away, and then came back.”

It seemed they followed instructions after all.

I invited them into my house, they were amazed as expected.

“What can I do for you Gentlemen?”

“We wuz thinking…”

“Not We, Me,” said another.

“What Wuz you thinking?” I asked.

“We, I mean Me, figured out a way to detect Corona.”

“Oh, really?”

“Sure! Ya knows when ya has Corona ya can’t taste anything?”

“So I’ve heard.”

“Well, it stands to reason, as common sense wud have it, that yer farts don’t stink.”

I was jolted by the presumption that had not occurred to me, yet seemed possible?

“You may have something there?” I replied.

“Ferdermore, wez set up a method of discovering hoose got it.

“How’s that?”

He passed the mike to the fellow with Da Brains, with whom they would have called The Professor, except for me.

“We have found that the audio portion is not affected…
Therefore, If you are sitting on a bench waiting for a bus, and you hear that familiar toot, (Or something similar,) emerge from the fellow beside you, and he sits there with a smile on his face, without smelling like he just opened a can of fish…GET AWAY FROM THAT GUY! Forget about the bus.”

I shook my head in approval and without making a big deal out of it, went about the house opening a few windows as, due to the subject matter just mentioned, it became apparent that none of them had it.

Penwose Out,
By George
NoPo8