I'll try to explain

Fatigued History
Who invented the alphabet?

First of all, let me say that we will never know who invented the alphabet because none of these high-falutin dumbass smart guys of today, will ever admit that everything we live ours lives by was invented by stupid cavemen.
However I will try to explain.

In those days most folks could not afford living outside of caves, and those who could found that huts and shacks made of sticks were little protection against wolves and other varmints, so everyone pretty much lived in caves.
The oceans were not yet salted, so they had plenty of good water, and there were critters nearby for food, however they were generally ferocious, and usually ate them for food, so the cavemen ate a lot of soup.

My mother says soup will warm me up, said one caveman to another who happened by, but I don’t see how?

Other guy, I think we need to discover fire.
Yeah, that would help.

What’s that floating around in your soup?
I don’t know?
It’s a bunch of little different shapes?

Third guy enters stage left, I saw things like that in my soup.
Bring them over. We’ll add them to these.
I ate them.

We need to see The Soup Hun, (The Soup Hun was the guy who made all the soup.)
That guy scares me.
Don’t worry. We’re just going to ask him a few questions.

Three guys go to The Soup Hun’s cave and wait in line until they reach the front.
What kind of soup for you?
We just want to ask a few questions.
What questions?
What are those little things floating around in the soup?
What kind of soup did you have?
I had Barley Bisque.
I had Minestrone.
Shy guy, I had tomato.
You mean Tomato!
No, tomato.
You think I cannot pronounce my own soup…NO SOUP FOR YOU!

OMG, said the shy guy.
note: G stood for Gosh, as God was yet to be realized.
With that they were cut off.
After that all their soup came from cans.

We need to go to Chiseler.
Chiseler was the guy who carved all the cave walls.
They went to him and asked if he would carve the soup shapes bigger on the walls so everyone could see them.
He accepted, and spent the next eleven years doing so, but it really didn’t matter because clocks and calendars were yet to be invented so time was not a factor.

Everybody came into the cave to look at the finished Soup Stuff, but nobody could figure out what it was? After quite a while one of the elders, who was older, said it seemed to be upside down?

They all tilted their heads and tried to see it from different angles and found it difficult, yet agreed it was not as it should be, which was a bit of a reach because they didn’t know what it should be?

Chiseler said he was not wasting more time carving them again right-side up.
I thought time was not a factor?
I factored it.

Another Neanderthal suggested they carve out the entire slab and simply turn it over. This seemed a good remedy so they spent the next few years doing that.

When that was finished, they all came in and flipped it over but it was heavier than they thought and they dropped it. It broke in a hundred pieces, thus inventing the first jig-saw puzzle.

How will we ever get it together again?

We seem to be speaking without quotation marks?

They haven’t been invented yet.

Yeah know, there’s a lot these days that hasn’t been invented yet.

Years latter they were able to put the puzzle together but it still made no sense. They had put the pieces wherever they felt and that is why the alphabet is so screwed up.

What do they sound like?
I don’t know, sound them out.
How can we sound them out if we don’t know what they sound like? We need to find someone who can read.

Little did they know, someone who could read hadn’t been invented yet.

Penwose Out,
By George
NoPo8