Wet your finger then stick it in a plug

Professor Ambrose Penwose, Kiwi

Little Things

Little Things are constantly peeing on me and walking away.
That is a Professor’s way of saying, “Pissing me off.”
Yes, you don’t have to be uneducated to be perturbed.

I was massaging sore muscles with one of those vibrating percussion massagers, when suddenly the healing stopped. I was forshaken for the switch was still on? Thinking it like a computer, I flicked the switch off and then on again. The reboot did not work, nor the next, nor the ones after.
I was in a frizzy complete with lingering soreness. What was I to do?

Call a friend…I called a friend…The friend said to, “Walk it off.”

Walk it off? I am an aristocrat. We do not walk things off.

I know very little about electricity, but I do know, when its on its on…and when its off its off.

Mine was off so apparently it was off.

I went to my circuit breakers and broke every circuit. It got very dark and silent fear overcame me. I’ve seen people done away with in similar circumstances in the movies.

I found a candle but burnt my fingers trying to light it, which took things from bad to worse.
I cooled my fingers in my mouth and remembered a friend once said to lick my finger and then stick it in a plug to see if the circuit was good.

I also remembered he was going to run off with my Xwife, then decided not to, which showed him to be no friend at all.
I waited for my fingers to dry.

I opened my Big Book Of Electricity, (After the sun came up and there was light.) It spoke of GFI circuits and said there was usually one in places with water, like kitchens and bathrooms. I ran upstairs to the bathroom. The Big Book said there were buttons usually on a plate between two plugs. You push one for off and the other for on. Obviously my off was on.

I could not find the GFI. I looked Everywhere…all over the house. I found one in the kitchen but it was on a different circuit.
I need to find something like one of those sticks that looks for water, to look for a GFI. Anybody have one?

There are additional Little Things but I ran out of interest.
More to follow.

Penwose Out,
By George
NoPo8