Like some sort of Super Fly.

Professor Ambrose Penwose, Kiwi

This post is a tad longer than most.
If you are a slow reader start now or it will be dark before you finish.

“Why oh why does the fly not die?”

Those where the words mumbled over and over by my xwife as she walked the house with a baseball bat. I never got near her unless I had a game and needed the bat.

In her demented mind of delusion she thought there was only one fly that she kept killing again and again, that kept coming back, like some sort of Super Fly.

If I didn’t know her better, which I do, I would say the fly was driving her crazy, which it would have, if she wasn’t so already, which she was.

Somebody told her to get some Fly Traps. She liked the fly trap idea but said she could make her own.
Before I knew it, she had dug a hole 8 feet deep in the backyard and covered it with a ¾” sheet of plywood.
She splashed vinegar all over herself, to get the fly to chase her, but it didn’t work.
I told her she could catch more flies with honey than vinegar.
She tried that and ended up with second and third degree bee stings.

I told her to try some schitt, but she wasn’t that crazy yet.

Finally she just ran to the trap holding a cookie in the air.
It worked but the trap didn’t cave in.
I told her the plywood was too thick, and that she should cover the hole with sticks and twigs and then camoflauge it with flowers.
She did that and it looked good.
So good in fact, that when she ran again with the cookie held high, and the fly following, she could not see where the hole was and fell in herself.
I was going to fill the hole, with her in it, but when I went for a shovel, the fly threw her a rope.

Right around that time, a padded cell opened up and they shipped her off to Happy Acres.

They locked her away and I’m told the killing continued but The Fly never died.

I received a call several days ago from the Asylum. They said she was literally driving everyone insane, including the rich ones, who were not.

They made a Major Break Through.
She now believes there are Two flies.

They convinced her there had to be two flies, for proliferation purposes.
She now thinks two flies came over on The Arc with Moses.

My biggest fear is she will finally acknowledge there are billions of flies and they will release her.

I must find a way to eliminate one of the flies.
She must not progress.

Penwose Out,
By George
NoPo8