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There's gonna be a blood bath.
Support Your Local Undertaker
Possible Plot Hypothesis
Mayor presides over meeting in town hall.
“We are in for a devastating day around the middle of next month.
People are going to be swarming to our town for one day and one day only.”
“What’s wrong with that?”
“I’ll tell ya what’s wrong with that…They all hate each other! There’s going to be Cattlemen, Sheep men, Ranchers, Homesteaders, Outlaws, Inlaws, Coal miners, gold miners, Gunfighters, Knife fighters, Spoon Fighters, Fork Fighters, Rustlers, Bank Robbers, Stage Robbers, etc.
All coming from different directions and converging in the middle of our town.
There’s going to be a blood bath.”
“How do you know that Mayor?”
“I just got a special communiqué from the Governor.”
“Well, how do you know everyone is going to be here on the same day?”
“Because it’s going to be the first ever National Hot Dog Day.
Joe’s Hot Dog Emporium is going to be giving away free hot dogs. People will be coming from miles around.”
“You mean they’re coming all this way for a free hot dog?”
“Wouldn’t you? They’re Free. And they're All Beef”
"All Beef?"
'They have to be, there's not enough pigs around here."”
“I’ll be there!”
“Nothing like this has ever happened before in the history of the west.
There’s going to be a blood bath!”
All the attendants make various comments as they leave the building.
Undertaker thinks out loud, “I’m gonna be Rich!”
He runs to telegraph office and orders a trainload of lumber and begins making all sizes of caskets. He never quits sawing or hammering or pounding as the fateful day approaches, all the time thinking, “I’m gonna be Rich…I’m gonna be Rich!”
National Hot Dog Day arrives. Everyone is headed toward town.
Sheriff goes out and meets them. Makes a speech. They all go peacefully to Joe’s, get a hot dog, and ride out of town.
Sheriff proudly, “I talked them out of the blood bath!”
Everyone applauds except the Undertaker, “ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND? DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD I WORKED FOR THIS DAY?
I was gonna be Rich, now I have nothing.”
Mayor, “Oh, Go get a hot dog.”
Penwose Out,
By George
NoPo8
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Ron