Some small reflections...

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If you are a theologian, you truly pray. If you truly pray, you are a theologian.
- Evagrius Ponticus

Being a student and being a teacher is part of my spiritual discipline. It is not an add-on, not something that is alongside – my theological education is my spiritual discipline in many respects, and my theological education includes my experiences and reflections upon my teaching, my studies, my pasturing, and indeed my entire life.

Faith unexamined, life uncritiqued, and skills undeveloped will be of little worth to the kingdom. Learning, therefore, becomes a vehicle for responsible discipleship.
- T. Hartley Hall

Too many times students come to seminary without the desire to learn. They want to sing songs, read the bible, pray and wave their hands in the air for three or four years, and then go out and somehow, in this sparse process, be ready to be a valid and trained minister. Some even come with the explicit intention of not learning anything – at least two students in my five-year tenure at my seminary have arrived with that precise instruction from their pastor. They are in danger of denying themselves a great treasure; under the guise of not questioning God, they adhere to a blind, unconsidered faith.

Yet a faith that can be shattered by questions deserves to be shattered. Jesus was never afraid of questions. Pharisees asked questions sometimes in trickery; Sadducees asked questions sometimes in legal conundrums; common people asked questions in sadness, in anger, in confusion, and in hope. To question is very biblical.

Prayer without study would be empty. Study without prayer would be blind.
- Karl Barth

Barth captured the sense of partnership that makes theological education a spiritual discipline for me. There needs to be attention and intention here. Reading, studying, writing, reflecting, revising, and praying, all in perichoretic relationship, is a powerful process of development of the soul. This requires a constant effort toward a goal – this goal being one of betterment for oneself, so as to be a better part of the community. Reading, studying and reflecting are key ways to bring outside members of the community into one’s own spiritual discipline. Writing and revising are good ways to share this spiritual discipline with others. Praying connects it all back to God, from whence it came.

The key to a Christian conception of studies is the realisation that prayer consists of attention. ... The quality of attention counts for much in the quality of prayer. Warmth of the heart cannot make up for it.
- Simone Weil

Weil focuses very well on the need for more than just warm, fuzzy feelings in spirituality. Sometimes New Age mystical experiences and spirituality gets dismissed as little more than this, as does the spiritual discipline and practice of some other religions. The sad truth is that much of Christian experience amounts to little more than this also, in actual practice. It is through a sustained commitment to an open and searching soul, realising that God is in a constant process of unfolding grace in our lives, that we can at last glimpse the true power and majesty of a God who will not be easily defined. God will not be put in a box, and is larger than anything we may conceive of God as being.

The most neglected factor in higher education is the power of sustained attention. ... Many of us want the power of sustained attention, but do not want what brings it about. We, unconsciously no doubt, realise how much it will cost us.
- Douglas Steere

So much of theological education, so much of spiritual discipline, so much of life itself consists of attention – do we notice what is going on? What is said and done? What is felt? Do we know where we ourselves are?

So much can be accomplished simply by showing up and being attentive. Sometimes a fear of failure keeps us from moving forward. Sometimes it is a fear of success. In either case, there is a cost involved. Steere reminds us of this – and it is easy to ignore the costs by not paying attention. By not asking difficult questions and seeking out the answers in a studious and prayerful manner, we risk losing a great prize. Why then would we do this? For fear of losing the comforts with which we are familiar.

Few of us are explicitly raised, intentionally raised to be theologians. And yet, most of us are, deep in our hearts, asking the kinds of questions and seeking the kinds of answers that make us theologians of a sort. There is a longing. Some of us take to the study of the bible or of religion more generally, or of philosophy to seek meaning, or of history to seek answers from the past, or of literature to seek answers in creative and imaginative stories, or any number of other areas to fill the void. I myself turned to history primarily, seeking meaning in the past that might carry forward to today. In that study I realised that, above almost all things in history, humanity’s sustained attention to religion – across cultures, economies, political structures, technological influences, languages, etc. – has a potential for meaning deep in my life.

Theological education is practical enterprise. It has elements of academic study and of real-world experience – the praxis of theological education involves both, and thus theological education becomes a spiritual discipline for me. Thus, theological education as a spiritual discipline enables me, empowers me, challenges me to work for a better life, which in turn works toward a better community.

If our prayer is the expression of a deep and grace-inspired desire for newness of life – and not the mere blind attachment to what has always been familiar and ‘safe’ – God will act in us and through us to renew the Church by preparing, in prayer, what we cannot yet imagine or understand.
- Thomas Merton