If Plato tweeted…
A techno-defense of Socrates
Ed Tasca
.Platothephilosopher
None wiserthan Socrates.The Oracle said so.He’s in danger.Ineed yourhelp.
.Chaerephon Cherrie
I’mheading to mymother’s forlunch.
.Platothephilosopher
Ourgreat teachercould be facinga death sentence. For accusations of impiety.
. Aristophanes3xfestivalwinner
Tell himto shave his beard and dress conservatively.
.Platothephilosopher
True wisdombelongs to the gods,he says.Human wisdomhas little value. This is an attempt to show humility and virtue. Isthatimpiety?
.Chaerephon Cherrie
Imightcome ifI catch up on mytxting.
.Prostatitis <3s epicurus
I’mat the agora.I’mstuck behindanotherDionysian parade.J
.olympusrules_Meletus
U go to Glucosamine’sparty last nite?
.Platothephilosopher
Meletus,you were theone broughtthe charges againstourgreatteacher.And all you care aboutis Glucosamine’sparty?
.olympusrules_Meletus
Plato,my inboxis on overload!Give ita rest!
.Prostatitis <3s epicurus
Meletus,Glucosaminehad a zoo there.Idon’tmean histheatre friends.He had a real zoo.Snakes,wildboar,monkeys.The bomb!J
.Platothephilosopher
Meletus,please reconsideryour“corruption ofyouth”charge.You asked Socrates ifthere was a Zeus.
.olympusrules_Meletus
He said there’s no scientific evidence there’s a Zeus.I said then who crtdthe universe?As usual,he answered with a ?: Who the hell knows?
.Platothephilosopher
That’s not corruption of youth! And he didn’t say “Who the hell knows?”
.olympusrules_Meletus
Maybe Iwas just pissed athimanswering questions with anothergd question!!!
.Platothephilosopher
Where’s Chaerephonon this?
.Prostatitis <3s epicurus
His server’s out.
.olympusrules_Meletus
.Platothephilosopher Socratesis an atheist. I testified as much.Did my duty4 the good ofthe state.
.Platothephilosopher
Meletus ,you admitted Socrates taughtyou to believe in spiritual guidance.How could he be an atheist?
.olympusrules_Meletus
We worshipped Dionysus together!! Got totally pissed.Thatwas my spiritual guidance!
.Platothephilosopher
Your accusations about Socrates are contradictory.
.olympusrules_Meletus
It’s notacontradiction.An atheistcan still mouth things spiritual.Look atevery politician!
.Platothephilosopher
Socrates is notafraid ofdeath. He will die to make his pointto the court.
. Aristophanes3xfestivalwinner
What’s wrong with just an “objection”? *s*
.olympusrules_Meletus
Who saw Phidias’s new nude? Hot!He saysit’s Aphrodite.Come on,it’s the spittin’
image ofAnalgesia,the waitress atSons of Helen bistro
.Platothephilosopher
Meletus,we’re talkingabouta man’s life here. A life devoted to searching forthe truth.
.Prostatitis <3s epicurus
Thathairy old bastard.J
.Platothephilosopher
Prostatitis, have a littlerespect.The man’s inthe throesofdespair.
.Prostatitis <3s epicurus
Iwas talking aboutPhidias.J
.Platothephilosopher
An innocentman could die here forhis principles.
.olympusrules_Meletus
Plea bargain.So theysend himto Sicily.Yeah,there’sEtna and racketeering.But it’s betterthan the alternative.#sicilycenteroftheworld
.Prostatitis<3sepicurus
Twalking:Dionysianparade getng bigger,crazier.I’m stopng 4 eggs.Scrambled with chopped olives!Ilove it.Meetme. Whoever. J
.Platothephilosopher:
Socrates has said we who feardeath show ourignorance.Death may be a great blessing.It’s time todemonstratethatpersonal courage isn’tfu
. Aristophanes3xfestivalwinner
What’s “fu”? Whatthe hll ru talkng about?
.olympusrules_Meletus
You knowwhat? Personal courage is a humongous f.u. when you wind up with a hemlock cocktail.
.Platothephilosopher
Futile.Futile! I was saying Futile in the face of sophism.
.olympusrules_Meletus
Bulltwit.If death’s so great,ydoes everybody pay any quack any amountof$to cure them ofevery phlegmand heartburn?
.Platothephilosopher
.olympusrules_Meletus,you’re the impious one,you and Aristophanes. You’re the ones corrupting Athenian youth with yourslanderand yoursarc
. Aristophanes3xfestivalwinner
ForOlympus’s sake,Plato,learnhow to tweet.All urtweets are 2 long and don’t make sense.
.Platothephilospher
I’msorryformyintrusive literacy. Buta stark140 charactercommuniqué is a fey child’s game,inadequate to persuade foolish youths todo
. Aristophanes3xfestivalwinner
To do what??
.Prostatitis<3sepicurus
Imade it tothe Sons ofHelen bistro.Analgesia,thatwaitress,isn’there.Phidias must’ve paid herbig time.I want to be a sculptor.JJJ
Chaerephon .Cherrie
I’mback.
.Platothephilosopher
Chaerephon,Will you join me in defense ofSocrates?
Chaerephon.Cherrie
U still atit? This disrespecting the Gods thing-don’twant2 b involved.Who they gonna charge next? Ilike all the gods,goddesses,demigods
.olympusrules_Meletus
.Chaerephon Cherrie Who’s ur favorite?
.Chaerephon Cherrie
I’mnotdone:I like the Fates,theMuses,theGraces, those centaurthings,all the nymphs:the Dryades,the Nereides,theOreiades,whoelse
.olympusrules_Meletus
Cherrie,calmdown!
.Chaerephon Cherrie
The Maliades,the Alseides,the Lampades.I’mnot corrupted!!!I wantthaton record.Who’d Ileave out?
.olympusrules_Meletus
The Meliai,nymphs of the ash trees.
.Chaerephon Cherrie
We have nymphs in ourash trees?
.olympusrules_Meletus
We have nymphs everywhere!Exceptin my bedroom! L
.Prostatitis<3sepicurus
Forme it’sbtwn Artemis when she’s notp-oed,and Zeus,especially when he morphs into animals and screws babes all overthe archipelago.J
.Platothephilosopher
Socrates has no favorites.He says we learn moral goodness and truthfromALL the immortals.
.Prostatitis<3sepicurus
I’msigning off. I’mgetting lunch.And then I have to walk my dog. Tip:follow
Glucosamine #FF.He’s funny and he knowswhen to twitteroffJ
.olympusrules_Meletus
.Prostatitis <3s epicurus Don’tsign off. Tell Glucosamine Iwantan invite 2 next bash.TMB
. Aristophanes3xfestivalwinner
LysistrataDress Rehearsal.Comp tickets4 2N!
.olympusrules_Meletus
Fab!I’mgoing!
.Platothephilosopher
Aristophanes, join meatthe courthouse,please.Manyfollow you.
. Aristophanes3xfestivalwinner
I’mat the theatre.Lysistrata looks like a hit.
.Platothephilosopher
Letme tellyou whatSocrates is saying aboutacquiring virtue.
. Aristophanes3xfestivalwinner
Socratessays this, Socrates says that. My inboxis on overload with this Socrates crap!!!!
.Chaerephon Cherrie
That’s howMY server wentdown!
.Platothephilosopher:
Aristophanes,come to the court before theshow.Theywill come ifyou do.
. Aristophanes3xfestivalwinner
Ihave to do a costume change.Lysistrata is wearing something thatlooks like it was torn offa Romanwhore.
.olympusrules_Meletus
OMG! I just found a greatplace selling figs.2 drachmae and u fill a basket.
Agora_n.w.corner.com
.Platothephilosopher
I’ve arrived at the court.Socrates says he’s a misunderstood benefactorto Athens,not an enemy! As such he should be given free meals,if we
.olympusrules_Meletus
Ifwe what???
.Prostatitis<3sepicurus
I’mback! IsPlato done? I’mnot following himanymore. Glucosamine’s, next full moon.J
.Platothephilosopher
STOP.Socrates has an idea.He suggests he justpay a fine of 100 drachmae. As he has little funds ofhis own, I say we each chip in about…
.olympusrules_Meletus
LOL.LOL.LOL.
