The first myth I believed was that the birth pain is ‘forgotten’ the moment you hold your baby. There is a spark of truth in that statement. It’s the word: moment. You forget for a moment only.
It is true that the agony ends the moment that baby enters the world, so the relief is dual. You’re thrilled it has ended, and you’re thrilled to gaze upon the tiny features and feel a real sense of accomplishment.
What you went through to introduce that baby into the world is never forgotten. It’s just shoved into the recesses of your mind, and like your mama and all your grand mamas before you, you continue the age-old myth that it was a wonderful, joyous, and perhaps a spiritual event in your life. But, c’mon moms…we all know the birthing experience for what it really was. Some of us harbored thoughts of castrating the fathers for putting us through it. We lashed out at the nurses and informed them in easily understood language where they could shove their words of encouragement. We cussed out the damn doctor because he couldn’t get it through his thick head that we were pushing. What did he think we were doing…auditioning for a mattress commercial?
And now, you lie in a state of exhaustion holding the tiny bundle while a room full of relatives fawn over the baby and remark over and over how she looks just like her father. You wonder, Are they that stupid? It’s obvious she looks like me. Well…maybe her ears are like his…a bit elfish.
The next day you head home to begin the ‘joy’ of motherhood. Mama emphasized the fact that newborns are so "easy" to take care of. "They sleep most of time. This is when you can do your normal daily routine." Again, she left out a whole lot of stuff. It’s true , the newborn does sleep a lot…between the awake times. It’s the awake times that will allow you to bond with your baby. These occur every few hours twenty-four hours a day.
You’ll be amazed at how such a tiny person can produce so much wetness and filling for a diaper. Her goals are to help you become an expert at washing, changing, and comforting, at adjusting to sleep depravation, learning an appreciation of music by knowing the differences in cries by their pitch and intensity.
One other thing never mentioned by mama was how to deal with a sex-starved mate, (he’s been deprived for over six weeks now) He shows subtle signs of resentment, because you’re giving the baby more attention than him. You just got up for the third time during the night to tend to the baby and are finally in that elusive sleep state. He begins his amorous moves. Little does he know that at that moment, your mind is toying with the notion of crowning him with the base of your bed lamp. You offer him a compromise. “If I go along with this, will you agree to get up next time the baby cries?” A tiny percentage of men will acquiesce, but most will grunt, turn over and go back to sleep, leaving you fuming since, thanks to him, you’re now too tired to fall back asleep.
Take heart all you mamas-to-be. Mama told the truth about the newborn stage being the "easiest." The best is yet to come. Some of those rewards that mama told you about are there too. The real question to be answered is: Is it all worth it? Of course it is. After all, we’ve only talked about the physical stuff. Helping that little bundle to grow into a productive and content adult is a whole different story with its own list of pitfalls and rewards.
