The desire or need for 'Being in Love' is an addiction. We are either addicted to a chemical reaction we have felt or to the hope that we may one day feel it. Either way, Being in Love as an emotion, as a consequence of an interaction with another human being is an illusion, a deceit. People talk of Being in Love as a response to how another person makes them feel within themselves, or about themselves. The chemical responses that interaction with that person illicit within them. Yet Perfect Love is described in terms not of what another can do for us but we can do for them. Alturism may be a true r representation of Love than marriage or even parenthood as both these states include expectations of a return to self for effort invested. Partner or parent alike feel deserving of love because of the love they offer. If the chemical responses of Appreciation Respect and returned Love are not recieved, then like any addiction either more and more love will be required to create the same sense of well being, or, another relationship will be sought to satisfy the need for that chemical release. 

 

Those yet to experience the chemical reaction commonly referred to as love may still be addicted. Media, friends and personal expectations & dreams may mean they anticipate an enjoyable chemical response & are thereby addicted to the expectation. In many societies individuals are brain washed into believing that 'experiencing love' is an indicator of both life and worth. 

 

Many are unaware that being addicted to the chemical reaction called love can lead to abuse, multiple relatiomships, disrespect of others & loss of respect for self. Many in the name of love give up their inner truth and self worth subjugating these to a relationship they hope will satisfy their addiction which has become more important to them than their own self respect. Others crave the chemical surge so much that they care little or nothing for those they use and abuse to satify their own cravings. 

 

When the addiction is no longer being satisfied there are two options. The first is to find a new source of satisfaction. The second is to find a new addiction. 

 

Either choice is a destructive path for all involved. 

 

What if ones sense of worth and wellbeing was not derived from the actions and reactions of others? What if it was derived from ones own alturistic contributions to the Universe? Any addictive need for more chemical releases caused by the pleasure of contributing to the positive whole could be satisfied by helping more. A win win situation. 

 

Applying that concept to a relationship what if you 'loved' someone not because of the chemical reactions their actions towards you create, but because of the ones your actions towards them create in you. You would  no longer be addicted to them because your satisfaction is not dependent on them. It is dependent on you. Then the choice to stop being addicted to the need for love is yours.

 

If I love you because of how you make me feel and you stop making me feel that way, then I stop having my addiction satisfied & will look for other solutions. 

 

If I love you because of the way I feel  when I show you Love as a metaphor for my Love for the Universe as a whole, then I will look for new ways to do that so that I may continue to recieve the chemical releases I am addicted to, by Being Love even more. 

 

In so doing I release myself & you, from the negative agenda of 'love' & vibrate positive energy to myself, you & the Universe through altruism, through unconditional and true Love.