Today we are talking with Stepan Stepanian, author of the new book, The Unwritten Rules of Life: Volume 1, now available from Amazon and other on-line retailers. Hello Stepan and thank you for spending some time with us.
Thank you for having me.
PBR: The first thing that caught my eye when I read your book is the galley layout of the text, or the format of the book. You generously space each rule onto its own separate page, and allow a title page to interleave the rules, creating an enjoyable “pace” or “tempo” when reading this book. How did you come to decide on this format?
I went with this format for the exact reason you mention, to keep the pace of the book simple and straightforward. It also helps if the reader wants to come back to a specific rule at a later time, they can just go straight to the page instead of having to flip through an entire book looking for that one rule.
PBR: Now the rules you picked, many have been known by prior Biblical teachings and other various religious literary works, but many I have not seen articulated. I found your descriptions very original. Where or what in your life has caused you to write your thoughts as rules?
Actually, the idea for this book came about around 5 years ago when a few of my friends and I were discussing the rules for dating, relationships and other things that were a part of “man code”. I proposed the idea of writing down all of the unwritten rules of life in general to write a book. The idea was to have the unwritten rules finally written and to compile them in to one book for easy access and reference. We came up with quite a few of them that first day. As it were, the idea died out and the book was never written. Recently, I came across the list again and decided it was finally time. I went through all the rules, made some changes, added a few new ones and started writing down the explanations for them, from my own point of view as well as a general perspective.
PBR: Do you live your own life according to the rules in your book?
It’s funny, sometimes I catch myself when talking to friends and family about certain things and I find myself saying “Well, that’s a rule in the book so I shouldn’t do that”. Most of the time it’s the basic rules, the simple ones that most people follow without realizing that such a rule exists, that I catch myself following.
PBR: Do you have a favorite story or incident in which living life by following your rules has resulted in something different than may have been expected?
In general, everything that has happened in my life, in one way or another, has been shaped by one or more of these rules. It is difficult to say whether something different would have happened by not following the rule, and it is even more difficult to say whether that ‘something’ would have been better or worse. I try to live my life with no regrets, as not to worry about the woulda, coulda, shoulda’s in life.
PBR: You dedicated this book to your Grandmother. Please tell us a little more about how she has influenced you.
When my family and I first moved to New Jersey when I was 3 years old, both my parents had two jobs they were working. My grandmother was the primary caregiver and role model for my brother and I for most of our childhood and early teens. Luckily, she is still with us and I felt that it was only right to dedicate this book to her as she was very influential in shaping my adolescence and teaching me the foundations of being a good person.
PBR: Some people would suggest rules are meant to be broken. What would you say to them?
As it says on the back cover of the book, “Some rules were meant to be broken”, so I would agree with them. That is actually a topic of one of the rules in Volume 2, so I do not want to give too much away here. I will, however, say that all rules, even the ones listed on this book, are not written in stone and they can be interpreted and followed in the individuals’ unique way. This book is more of a guideline to get a better understanding as to what the rules mean and how to utilize them.
PBR: Your book is titled Volume 1. What are your thoughts or plans for a Volume 2?
Volume 2 is currently in the process of being completed. Every day I come across new ideas and thoughts to include in the next volume. Tentatively, the release date for Volume 2 will be sometime near the end of 2011, however it may come out sooner than that, so keep an eye out for it.
PBR: Thank you Stepan for your time today, and we wish you the very best of success with your wonderful book.
Thank you very much, it has been a pleasure.
