Play therapy helped Sandy to stop carrying her hurt inside and begin coping in more constructive ways.

Sandy showed me for the first time how play therapy can transform a child’s life after only a few weeks.

I met the 10-year-old while I was interning in child therapy. Her clothes were a couple of sizes too big and looked as if they could use a good washing. The same could be said for her hair.

She said the kids at school picked on her and called her "dog."

When I took Sandy (that’s not her real name) into the therapy room she immediately wanted to play with the doll house. She chose four dolls: a mother and father, and older daughter and a baby son. Except for the sex of the younger child, the family corresponded with her own, I noticed. Then to my amazement she re-enacted what she and her mother reported to be going on at home.

I had been instructed by my supervisor to take a supportive non judgmental stance. I was merely to comment on how the dolls might feel and echo what she said. So when she had Daddy slap Mamma doll, I commented. "Oh, Daddy slapped Mamma doll. Daddy must be mad at Mamma doll." Her reply was "Naw, Daddy’s just mean and he’s drunk."

I had also been told by my supervisor to help her understand the connection between feelings and behavior, so I commented, "Sandy, when I slap people I’m mad at them." Later, to start her thinking about alternative ways to handle situations and feelings, I added, I wonder what Daddy could have done instead of drinking and slapping Mamma when he was mad?"

Although she did not respond, I could tell she was thinking about what I had said.

It was during our second therapy session that I really got scared. Sandy, after fussing at the baby doll, placed him in the oven and turned it on high. I was horrified. "Oh no!" I thought to my self. It took all my self-control to stay supportive. "Wow, sister doll is really mad at baby doll…she put him in the oven," I said with a coolness I did not feel. " I wonder if she’s mad because she has to share Mamma and Daddy with him," I guessed. Or maybe she’s not really angry with Daddy for being mean when he drinks and she’s taking it out on baby brother.

As soon as the session was over I went straight to my supervisor. I’m not sure about play therapy," I said as I explained what happened.

He beamed and said, "You’re doing great…you should be proud of yourself." He then explained that when children have an opportunity to talk or act out their feelings in play in a supportive, loving environment they typically get better.

Sure enough, the next time I spoke to Sandy’s mother she said with delight, " I don’t know what you are doing in therapy, but she is so much nicer to her brother." I thought to myself, "If only you knew how baby doll gets baked!"

Other things began to come out, too. Daughter doll had a lot to say about Daddy’s drinking and Mamma’s long work schedule.

Although Sandy refused to acknowledge any parallels between the doll family and her own, Sandy’s behavior dramatically changed. She began to pay attention to her grooming, washed her hair, and made sure her clothes were clean. She started to make friends at school and her grades improved. Her mother began to feel better about her parenting skills and joined Alan-non to deal with her husbands drinking.

Although the family continued to have problems, Sandy no longer carried the hurt inside and began to cope in more constructive ways.

Sandy made me a believer in play therapy. I think play therapy is like a fireplace for the fire so the whole house does not burn down.