The tell-tale signs are obvious to the bystanders, but often half of the couple keeps trying to bail out a ship that is sinking, sinking...hmmm, maybe it just needs to sink!

     I've watched my daughter try to make a relationship work for almost 2 years now.  The recipient of her attention is a fine young man who is beset with doubts and fears about the whole process.  I have a few clues I'd like to tell them.  Instead, to relieve all my pent-up maternal wisdom, I'll jot them here.  Let the readers respond, and remember--your mom would tell you if she could!      How to know if the relationship isn't working: 1. All you think about is the relationship.

2.  One of you is making life- changes while the other is just making a few cosmetic adjustments

3.   You spend lots more time working out difficulties than having fun together.

4.  Your extended family is quite different, and you aren't comfortable with what you see in the other's family.

5.  There's a sense of competition for leadership between you two over every small thing--who drives, where you eat, what you do with free time

6. You have trouble matching up how you react to one anther with the generous spirit of I Corinthians 13.  You know, "love is patient, love is kind...seeketh not its own...bears all thing, hopes all things, believes all things...love never fails."  Anything less than this probably doesn't have God as a co-partner.   

Finally, I'd like to tell any prospective young couple:  once you commit in marriage before God and everybody, you are obligated to throw every ounce of your being into the relationship.  It should be a joy, not a sorrow.  If you're only willing to commit 25 % of yourself at this time, get a pen-pal.