My daughter says, "To strengthen your back, you need to develop resistance in your stomach muscles." I think I need resistance to chocolate!

     However, chocolate is one of the comforts of my life!  My statistics are great, all except the weight;  low triglycerides, low cholestrol, normal blood sugar, low blood pressure. I need to lose 25 or 30 pounds.  However, I have a chronic illness, and weight is not my chief concern at this time.     For some reason, aquaintances have sought to help me with unsolicited diet and exercise advice.  I have worked for 5 years with Pat.  She and I shared a room for 3 of those years.  She kept dropping hints. "My sister used to look like you, and now she's a nice, normal weight."  One day, after she had prodded and cajoled me for some time about joining her on the Atkins diet, she blasted me.      "I am fat because you won't diet with me," she accused.      Looking for signs of humor, I smiled.  "What do you mean?"      "Everyone else I've ever worked with has dieted with me, and I lose 20 pounds every summer.  I used to be a size 6, and now that I'm working with you, I can't lose my weight.  I'm a size 12."  She was dead serious.  Now, Pat is a lovely woman of age 55.  Size 12 is not a bad fit on her.  When she asked her doctor for diet pills, he just laughed at her.      I was shocked and hurt.  I eat healthy food, but I don't do crash-diets.  I don't copy little lists, join clubs, or hate myself if I can't squeeze into a size 6.  I've been a size 16 for years.  I never go up in size or weight. My waist in discernable!  Yes, I'd like to be smaller, but most of all, I want to be healthy!  I sometimes eat a candy bar--not a whole bag, just one or two snack sized.  Do I feel guilty?  No!  What is my bedtime snack?  Granola, if I'm really hungry.  Lowfat, homemade granola so that I know exactly what is in it.      Before Pat blasted me, I used to tell her how much I had exercised to try to take part in the thin-seeking camraderie.  "Walking doesn't help at all unless you walk two miles," she snapped one day.  Soon, we had almost nothing to talk about.      Over 5 years, I have gained 10 pounds.  Yes, I would like to lose it.  I'm watching my menus, cooking lots of veggies, avoiding high-fat meats and fried foods.  Does my self-esteem stand or fall on the scales?  Of course not.  I'm still in the same wardrobe.  Have the same husband.  Meanwhile, Pat has gained and lost about 120 pounds--almost as much as her entire body weight, 25 pounds up and 20 pounds down.  She's on Weight-Watchers this time, she says.  Funny thing, a couple years ago she knew she needed thyroid surgery.  She suspected underactive thyroid and thought it would be a lot easier to lose weight once all was back in order. In fact, the doctor informed her, her thyroid had previously been overactive, making weight loss much easier for her prior to surgery.      Back to Krystal, my kinesiology-major college daughter.  She used to harass me about my exercise habits.  Now, she encourages:  "Mom, they tell us that if you park your car a few steps a way and walk a little, that's still exercise.  If you just purposely move a little, that counts.  You don't have to sweat for 20 minutes;  just do your housework vigorously."  Ha!  These are hints I've read in Women's Day for years, and now I feel fine about adhering to them!      For the record, I am surrounded at church and work by really heavy women who top 250 pounds or more.  They are also my friends. They try to lose weight.  They are serious about it, but for their health, not to save their marriages or self-esteem.  They are lovely, wonderful, spiritual women.  And I would never tell them that they are making me fat, and wouldn't they be happier if they were a size 10? After all, it's much healthier to make slow progress toward the goal that to lose, gain, and lose the same 20 pounds over and over.