A lot of people want to befriend the minister, but few really know the secret.

     My husband is a pastor of a Baptist church.  It's a small church, but we are still a rather public couple.   We've been at our church for seven years (so far!)  and people are truly kind.  We feel loved. 

    I sometimes get the sense, however, that individuals would like to be our private best friends.  Some seem to wonder whether they are left out of our inner circle--but there is no such circle.  The fact is that we don't have close buddies in the normal sense.  We absolutely don't have time.  There is no one whom we talk to several times a week unless we are doing ministry together.  Our dearest friends from 25 years ago see us once at Christmas and once in the summer.

    "That's no good!  You should slow down and relax,"  some concerned folks say.  However, when we slow down and relax, we spend time with our grown kids.  Or we grab a bite to eat at a restaurant, just the two of us, as a couple. 
     Those who are our "best friends" are those who partner with us in ministry.  We don't have weekly outings together.  We feel very close, for instance, to those people who have gone with us yearly to take the kids to youth camp.  That collection of people comes together only once a year, but after 7 powerful summers, I feel intimate with them.

    In the same way, every visiting partner I've ever gone witnessing with has become a dear friend. (When you get lost in neighborhoods looking for prospects, bonds form quickly!)  That amounts to just 4 evenings spread out over 6 months time.  The lady with whom I teach Sunday school is precious to me.  We don't hobnob in each other's homes, although we initially intended to.  Life is zooming by too quickly.  But we are entwined together in an effort to share the gospel with these young children in 5th and 6th grade.

     My husband's friendships are similar.  They are his secrets to tell, not mine.  Although he is a public person, he is much more private than I am.  He becomes friends, not with those who love him and think he's a character, but with people who love the Lord and our church in particular.  Those people with whom he plans the calendar, searches for new church property, or undertakes some project--these are his close associates.  They are not friends in the normal terms. 

     What can I say?  Our lives are not normal, and neither are our friendships.  We are incredibly busy and pressured at times.  If you aspire to support and befriend your minister, try getting out there in the field.  Plow and plant alongside him.  Love your church like he does.  Love Jesus first and foremost.  Pray for the church, the pastor, and yourself.  Soon, not only the pastor will be your friend, but you'll be dear to a whole body of believers.  "I Come to the Garden Alone," will be more like, "All My Rowdy Friends are Praising Jesus Tonight."