My response to Dan Summerfield's challenge regarding some of the worst "teachers" ever. Just warning everyone ahead of time...my strong opnions in this matter are always controversial and never popular. Thinkers get riled and come up with ways to solve things. Idiots lash out against what goes against their own opinions, but never try to actually fix anything, believing that not complaining makes the world's problems easier to ignore. I'm a thinker. Deal with it.

My personal experiences with the world of education have left me believing that American schools are far from being all that they can be. Numerous educators have attacked me personally regarding my observations, but I swear all I'm about to relay here is true . With any luck, my experiences are not as common as I fear they have become.

Private school. Catholic school. No, the nuns didn't strike us with rulers as some of you may be inclined to think. Sister Janet was the principal, not a teacher, but I'm gonna start with her anyway so you'll have some idea of how I came to regard school in general as a form of nightmarish punishment from a very early age. First day of first grade. I was in line with the other kids, waiting for someone to tell us what the heck was going on. No more bells were ringing, and no adult had entered with us to approach our designated classroom after we'd been admitted to the old brick building's interior. Bored, unsupervised, we formed a ragged line and joked and gossiped to pass the time. Apparently, the second grade teacher across the hall didn't care to deal with us herself, so she used the intercom in her room to summon someone to find out why there were a bunch of children standing alone in the hallway across from her door, making noise. Sister Janet herself stalked up the hallway from her office. No, we didn't know who our teacher was or where she might be. She had a key to each classroom, so she asked us to form an orderly line, be quiet, and take seats as we entered. For fun, the kid behind me pushed me and I fell against the kid in front of me. The kid I fell against complained that I was pushing. Sister Janet's focus caught me. Then her hand caught my hair. I was literally lifted clean off of my feet and held dangling, warned not to struggle or make noise until every "good" child had passed me. Some of the other kids thought it was funny. I was in agony and terribly embarrassed, not to mention outraged for having done nothing wrong. Things went downhill for me from there.

Fourth grade. Middle-aged, overweight, nearsighted, alleged alcoholic science teacher. I distinctly recall her telling us that our stomachs were filled with digestive "blood" that would run out of our mouths and noses if we stood on our heads or hung upside down for more than three minutes straight. Hey—this was 1978, not 1578! One day she explained to us how everything in the sky is stationary, and the movement of clouds overhead was indicative of the Earth spinning beneath them...which of course does nothing to explain wind speed, changing wind directions, or why we don't experience the exact same weather phenomena repeatedly every year. I'm not even bringing up celestial objects here! Her worst faux pas in my opinion? The day she came to class with a large clear plastic baggie full of white powder and asked us to identify it. We passed it around uncertainly, feeling the bag, hefting it, sniffing at its sealed opening. Finally, a kid opened the bag and tasted a pinch of the contents. She beamed and passed the bag to the next kid. Three more fourth graders followed that one kid's lead. They were the only ones who could tell the teacher afterward that the substance was powdered sugar. The extraordinarily stupid woman praised those kids for daring to use "all of their senses" to identify the stuff unlike the rest of us who were too idiotic to risk tasting rat poison or getting hooked on cocaine or whatever else the substance could possibly have been. Way to go, Mrs. Dumbass!

There were other nasty surprises in store for me in elementary school, but it was when I left for public school that the real shocker came...

I'd had no idea there were math teachers who couldn't spell simple words...English teachers who didn't know basic geography...social studies teachers who couldn't perform simple math! Students corrected teachers all the time in public school! How did they ever get to become teachers if they didn't know the same basic stuff your average high school student knows? Score one point for private school, big goose egg for public education! Yikes!
And, let me tell you, I found out quick that your average public high school student really doesn't know that much at all, yet still passes. How can this be? Fear. I'd entered a world where jocks and cheerleaders got excused from tests and homework constantly because someone in The Office had decided it was more important for these kids to primp and engage in horseplay outdoors than to actually learn anything useful in life. Admittedly, Delino DeShields attended one of the nearby high schools and went on to make a name for himself in major league sports, but your average high school jock does not go on to a lucrative career in sports any more than your average high school cheerleader becomes a career cheerleader or supermodel. In my mind, knowledge is more important than money. Knowledge can help you acquire money. Without knowledge, you might acquire money, but you're not likely to keep it. Athletes succumb to injury, and most athletes and cheerleaders must give way to old age—which often comes early for those known for sports prowess, agility, or beauty. The fear part I mentioned comes in the form of today's lawsuit-hungry parents who blame everyone but their kids or themselves for failing grades. I asked a teacher why kids were no longer "failed" in many of today's schools. "You mean, 'held back'?" she queried absently. "Oh, well think of how his peers would treat him! We'd never do that to a child anymore!" Right. Think of how his peers will treat him when they pull up to the gas station in their convertable Ferraris, hot chick in the passenger's seat, late for the trial they're prosecuting for the state, while Mr. "Not Held Back" pumps gas and realizes he knew this jerk with his blow-dried hair on his cellphone back in high school. Think of showing up for your high school reunion in patched clothing, the city garbage man, surrounded by soccer moms and doctors and real gold jewelry and designer clothes in the latest styles. Yeah, that seems a lot more fair than trying to figure out why Johnny can't read and recommending after school programs, outside tutoring, professional counseling, or what have you to help him out in life. Brilliant! Teachers whine to me, "We don't have time or funding for that, and I don't get paid after three...." Right. You teach for the money. Sure. If you wanna make money, take a job dancing naked or go sell drugs. The kids you honestly can't be bothered to give your precious time or consideration to may well get those jobs themselves later on when they find out life's too hard to endure any other way. Sure, there are exotic dancers with brains and perfectly nice drug dealers...and no one minds admitting their child grew up into one of them. If you want to help children learn, then by God get off your butt and try to make a difference! Stop playing favorites with the cute ones, the smart ones, the really good suck-ups, and try to get some sort of assistance for the ones who seem doomed to a life of general subservience and low wages. What else is school for, but to give kids a head start in life? To help them communicate effectively and discover aptitude in skills that may help them live comfortable lives someday when they're on their own?

The worst teacher I ever had was in high school. A Hungarian by birth with a thick accent and numerous, long winded stories about how much better his country was than America. He was supposed to teach Latin. My interest in medicine and zoology had already given me a rough basis to begin with. I was eager to learn and picked up the vocabulary easily. My problem lay in writing in the language correctly. I kept reversing the order in which nouns and adjectives and verbs should go. The teacher would loudly chastize me with, "What, are you Jewish? You read everything backward! What's the matter with you? Are you Jewish or stupid?" I was Catholic. While Catholicism kept trying to program me with the fact I was superior to everyone else on the planet simply because I was baptized and took communion and could be officially classified as Catholic, I didn't believe in my alleged superiority and found this dickwad's criticisms unbelievably offensive. What if I was Jewish? He didn't know.... He encouraged the other kids to pick up his line of beratement and hurl their own insults at those of us who were struggling. It was, of course, only the nastiest kids who'd follow his example, but their moronic chorus only made him seem all the more despicable to me. Daily, he'd "woo" the daughter of the local university's dean with blatant compliments of how beautiful she was. She'd smile and giggle while he described her butt and beginning curves, comparing her to mythological figures, touching her flywaway blonde hair. He'd constantly remind us why boats are referred to as "she", "Because," he'd say, emphasizing with hand gestures, "their bottoms are round and full like a woman's." I found this extremely sexist, especially when the cruder boys would leer and hoot and whistle at the few girls taking the class, all with the teacher's encouragement. His constant taunting as opposed to teaching caused me to completely shut him out, so that if he happened to call on me, I'd refuse to acknowledge his existence, gazing out the nearest window while his anger made him call me a "stupid Jew" some more. Some of the kids would continue this taunting if they saw me outside of the class. I was never popular in school to begin with, always a bit of a loner, a bookworm, so I was used to years of being the butt of nerd jokes. My chronic bronchitis prevented me from enjoying even those sports that I was good at, so I was teased for being "soft" and a "wussy". Having younger kids follow me through the halls referring to me as a stupid Jew made me hate the teacher even more, but only pity the ignorant kids. Call me Jewish if you wish—I'll only look back at you askance, wondering where you came up with that from. Call me a stupid Jew, and I'll heatedly wonder what problem you have with a people you obviously know absolutely nothing about. When this jerk later read us the class report and mentioned the overall class grade would have been higher if not for the few idiots who refused to participate (I was the first to mentally boycott the class, but not the last), the worst of the hecklers turned around and loudly said, "Yeah, Eddie!" So, I failed high school Latin. At the time, I also knew some basic German, Spanish, and French, and longed for the balls big enough to allow me to curse this deranged Hungarian in fluent Russian some day—the language of a people he vehemently despised. I took Spanish the next year and passed with straight A's, thank you. Balshooyoo spahseebah, Mrs. Birch! Muchas gracias! Danke!

The thing which angers me most about my personal experiences is the fact my diploma is worth writing down phone messages on and then discarding, nothing more. Why do I believe this? I was a quiet kid. I drew pictures for the teachers and I'd help them after class. I never caused trouble. I was polite. Most of my classes were "A" classes, and I was put into an advanced reading program. I made Student Of The Month numerous times...yet I hardly did a lick of homework, I'd purposely fail quizzes to thwart the rotten cheaters who figured I was smart and would try and copy my papers, and I seldom paid the least bit of attention to class. How could I pass when I obviously didn't deserve it? I was liked by teachers. Favoritism. I graduated high school with a boy who had a third grade reading level, but could throw a basketball. So, he went on to become an athlete? No...I think he's depressed, fathered a number of kids by different skanky females, has VD, and washes dishes at a crappy restaurant. He's one of several kids who never should have passed, never should have advanced beyond third grade, never should have been allowed to slip by because of teachers who no longer give a damn, because of schools afraid of lawsuits and terrified of losing funding and donations by some wealthy parent or their business or "organization", because of schools who will lie about overall grades so that they look like such good schools deserving continued community support and budgets inflated to benefit the bank accounts of people on the school board and not the students, and hardly ever the often overworked, underpaid teachers. Why are so many American school children "stupid"? Why can't they find their own state or country on a map? Because nobody cares enough about them to actually teach them anymore. Administrators are concerned about their own welfares. Teachers fear lawsuits or being fired even if they're doing the "right" thing. Parents know everything is some dumb teacher's fault and not little Timmy or Sally's or even their own.... It's called Pass The Buck, my friend, and it's creating a nation of apathetic morons. No wonder so many other countries laugh at us and think we're stupid, violent braggarts. In general, we are. Sure, America has done and created and provided many wonderful things for the rest of the world...but the average American gets his right confused with his "other right", blames restaurants for his addiction to fattening foods, still isn't sure on how birth control functions or what options are available, and can't decide if Y is a consonant or a vowel. He doesn't actually care, either. His IQ is 113. He's here to have fun, dammit. His boss is an idiot and an a-hole. He always speeds at least a little. He makes maybe $45,000 a year...including his wife's income. And, isn't that good enough?

Explains a lot if you think it is....

Bad teachers create private hells. Badly run schools create bad teachers.
A poor education system creates widespread mediocrity or worse.
Bad parents don't care so long as you don't blame them or their kids and maybe they can make a little money off the deal somewhere.
Mediocrity, over time, can cause the demise of a nation's glory.
America's glory is not its education system.

Don't want to be responsible for America's gradual decline? Then get off your butt and act like a responsible parent! Only you can demand better classrooms, better educated teachers who care, more teachers for the gross overpopulation we have, lower incomes for the people who do the least and better incomes for those who have to put up with the most, laws protecting teachers and schools under various circumstances, and programs designed to assist those kids who obviously require some other method of teaching in order for the most basic concepts to sink in for them. Only you can read to your kids and help make reading fun for them, take them on fun, educational family "field trips", teach them the importance of knowledge and common sense for when it's their turn to stand on their own and perhaps be parents themselves some day. Don't let America slip slowly into mediocrity. Be a part of your kids' lives in every aspect that you can, or get them involved in a program like Big Brothers/Big Sisters if you just don't have the time for your own attention-starved offspring. Their bettered lives will be your reward. And, while you're at it, let's round up those few really obnoxious bad teachers and let them take the low-paying mediocre jobs that might otherwise shame your kids. Nobody wants to be overworked and underpaid, but I know at least one bozo from Hungary who sure deserves it!