Inexpensive, easy, versatile & delicious wings make a great appetizer or entree for home entertaining.

Years ago, I recall bags of wings being sold at the local grocery store for rock-bottom prices, wings being almost a "scrap meat" without any popularity or any real use. Then somebody in Buffalo, New York got this idea for an inexpensive and easy to prepare snack food utilizing a simple sauce composed of a stick of butter, half a bottle of hot sauce and little else. The latest food craze grew into endless variations of flavors and a handful of preparation methods, until this day and age when even the oddly named "boneless wings" (really just small-sized breaded chicken strips) have become franchise restaurant staples.

Over time the price of these morsels increased along with a trend of Americans consuming more chicken anyway, until in many markets chicken wings may cost more than some lesser cuts of beef or pork! Wings are low-carb if not breaded, a good protein source including a little calcium boost added from eating meat located so intimately with bones, low fat if baked or smoked, and still relatively inexpensive and surprisingly easy to prepare.

When I shop for meats, my ideal is anything sold at less than two dollars per pound. Yeah, we don't get many Delmonico or Porterhouse cuts around here and duck, pheasant, and even almost scrawny Cornish game hens are a bit of a rarity, but wings are almost always on sale somewhere. You can still purchase bulk bags of five or more pounds, but my experience has been that these packages often contain an odd assortment of sizes from what look like tiny Bantam wings up through a couple of monster-sized bits with the bulk falling in between and just a hair toward the smaller size. If you're entertaining guests, I recommend the better quality, evenly matched tray of wings found in the poultry case of any fresh meat section. If you're not picky, the oddball sized bags are great though you would do well to sort the sizes for more even cooking so smaller wings don't burn while the few large ones remain almost raw.

And speaking of odd, I've noticed that in every tray of wings I've purchased lately, they're all left wings. Where do the right wings go? Restaurants? Is this some sort of weird lefties are inferior thing, or is it some kind of subliminal political statement only frequent barbecuers like myself might happen to pick up on? Okay...whatever...

Wings are a part of my paleo-based diet if they're not breaded, and I prefer mine naked anyway so that works great. Perhaps you'll follow my healthier recipes, then serve a side of mixed oil and flour for dipping for your breading-preferring guests (don't do that--I'm being facetious). The recipes here provide flavorful wings, tender with crisp skin, with little work or clean up involved, so there's no reason not to learn to prepare them yourself. The rules are simple: Better overcooked than under--so long as you don't burn any, the longer something marinates the more flavor it will have, stronger flavors occur when sauce or seasoning is added just before serving. Ready? Great. I'm gonna share my two favorite methods of preparation, and neither involves human-flesh melting temperatures or copious amounts of oil.

BASIC WINGS
If you get 'em in restaurants, then you've most likely been eating them deep fried in the same vat of grease used by every other deep fried thing in the restaurant for the last week. Unless it's Monday. Mondays are usually grease-changing days. The grease used is usually solid or close to it at room temperature, then left in the fryer pit or "kettle" as some chicken specializing restaurants like to call it all freakin' week long with all the little charred and chocolately-brown crispy things left over from countless meals slowly disintegrating in the bottom of it. Most of these pit-style fryers aren't even covered when the place is closed, meaning any flies or roaches or rodents or stray hairs in the vicinity may visit it at any time. My experience working in restaurants has been mostly unpleasant, but I still eat out figuring that most homes include residents who suck liquids straight from refrigerated containers, have pets or children that may have access to countertops, season their butter and jelly with toast crumbs, and probably wouldn't pass any Board Of Health's inspections. In other words, what you don't know probably won't kill ya, and doubtfully is any worse than eating at any friend or relative's home. Of course I know that like me, you too are conspicuously aware of bacteria and germs, and you would never think of preparing meals of any kind under anything less than near-surgically sterile conditions. Eeyeah...

So, you ought to plan for about a pound of wings per person. Some cooks recommend discarding the inedible tips before cooking, but if I'm gonna throw 'em out anyway, why lose any cooking time hunting around for a good cleaver or poultry shears? Do as you please. It doesn't affect cook time--it's just an aesthetic thing. If you're extra picky, you can even seperate the upper arm from the lower through the elbow or just buy 'em that way. Your choice. I'm mainly just concerned about the cooking bit here. Remove your wings from their original packaging and wash them, taking time to pick off any stray pin feathers, that yellow colored skin-like membrane, or congealed blood. If you have time for marinating, do so. Place the wings in a large good quality plastic food storage bag along with whatever spices catch your fancy, maybe a little olive oil, soy sauce, vinegar, juice or tea. Don't sit there clueless...you probably have a handful of spices sitting around mostly unused if not an entire cabinet full like I do. What sort of flavor wings are you gonna try today? Hot and spicy? Try dumping in at least a tablespoon of curry, wasabi powder, cumin, Cajun or Creole spice, paprika, garlic, powdered onion, any pepper blends you may have, dried peppers, cayenne, Old Bay, Soul Seasoning, powdered mustard...add a splash of soy, some olive oil, a few splashes of hot sauce or vinegar. Spicy-sweet? To the above add a little cinnamon, some cloves, ginger, cardamon, allspice, Chinese five-spice, then add some citrus juice or other type instead of vinegar...or maybe a hit of balsamic vinegar. Barbecue? Add smoked salt or liquid smoke, a little maple syrup or honey in place of the acidy liquids, maybe some orange juice or pineapple tidbits. I've heard that most spices should be thrown out and replaced after six months. Some of mine were procured in the 1960's! So long as nothing smells off, looks poor in quality, and the flavor is still detectable, I see no reason to waste time and money replacing all fifty-some different seasonings I own. When I marinate wings, I use ALL of the spices which may pertain to the flavor I wish to achieve because as I mentioned earlier, most flavors are strongest right before serving, so going nuts with the seasonings at this stage will produce only a mild, though noticeable flavor to the meat when served. If possible, keep your wings refrigerated for up to two days sealed in their bag of marinade, turning it often and/or massaging the wings through the plastic to make sure everything gets evenly coated. Marinating is purely optional.

When you're ready, prepare your grill, and once hot, place inexpensive foil over the grate. This is sometimes tricky because the rising heat will make the foil shift around. Only cover the area you will be using--don't smother your heat source. Drizzle olive oil over the foil. I just start in the center and make a spiral outward, trying not to spill any directly down into the fire. You just want the foil slick--not soaked. If you used oil in the marinade, you can use less on the foil. Non-stick foil or non-stick spray can be used, but part of the oil's job is to make the skin crispy and sear in the natural juices of the meat. Arrange the wings all facing the same way--up or down--so you'll easily see what needs to be flipped over as you cook. If you have any leftover marinade you can drizzle it over any wings that don't look well covered or just discard it. Cover the grill and moniter the temperature. You want the heat between three hundred and three hundred and fifty degrees. Frozen wings do better with a lower cooking temperature and longer cooking time, but I don't recommend that method. Leave the wings alone for seven minutes, then use tongs to turn them all. Cover and leave for five minutes. At this point you may notice some wings are cooking faster than others. It's a good idea to shift them around so they'll all be done at the same time. Turn them all and cover, leave for five minutes again. Restaurant wings take an average fifteen minutes to deep-fry. This method uses a lower temperature, so it takes a little longer. If you love wings like I do, you have undoubtedly occasionally hit an almost raw one or even an entire undercooked batch. For health reasons this is rather undesireable, so we're using safety first to save your toilet from stopping up before the day is through. Turn the wings, cover and leave for five more minutes. If your temperature ever dropped drastically while you were cooking, give those wings a little more time! Again, overcooked is preferable so long as you're not serving little hot pepper flavored wing-shaped crispy cinders. After the last turning, I generally turn the heat down (you can just leave the lid up if using charcoal), and mix my sauce and set the table. For sloppy barbecued finger foods, the best placemats are sheets of newspaper bones can be just discarded atop of next to the plates...if you're using plates. Put out plenty of napkins or paper towels. Wrap cheap foil around a shallow bake sheet or line a tray with it and just pile the cooked wings on top. Drench with sauce or serve on the side. Enjoy.

What sauce? A stick of butter and half a bottle of hot sauce? Sure...if that's what you fancy. Any sauce you like is just spiffy. There is an array of tasty bottled sauces that are great for wings from barbecue to chipotle mayonnaise, honey mustard, honey, mustard, teriyaki, hoisin sauce, duck sauce, sweet-n-sour, or combinations of these. For this method of preparation, I do not recommend you heat the sauce because when the wings come off the grill they are often too hot to handle and may remain so for some time. Dumping room temperature sauce over them or serving it on the side will help save that little piece of flesh behind your upper front teeth from getting cremated the way it often does when you eat too hot pizza. Brushing sauce on during the last two five minute segments may result in burnt sauce--particularly if it contains honey or sugar or other natural sweeteners. The flavor will be more charred and less intense, but not necessarily unacceptable to most palettes.

Here are some sauce ideas to try making yourself:

Sweet ‘n’ Spicy Wings
.33 c hot sauce
.25 c olive oil
2 T orange juice concentrate
2 T honey
.25 t cinnamon

Santa Fe Wings
.25 c hot sauce
.25 c olive oil
.25 c chili sauce
1 t chili powder

Shanghai Wings
.25 c soy sauce
3 T hot sauce
3 T honey
2 T olive oil
1 t grated ginger
1 t minced garlic

Teriyaki Wings
.25 c soy sauce
3 T honey
.5 t ground ginger
2-3 dashes cayenne
.25 c orange or lemon juice
2 mashed garlic cloves

Honey Curry Wings
1 c honey
.66 c Dijon mustard
3-5 t curry powder
2 T olive oil
pinch of cayenne

Barbecue Wings
1 c olive oil
.5 c soy sauce
1 t ginger
2 t garlic powder

Honey Mustard
Mix equal parts honey and any mustard to taste, about 1.5 c total sauce.

SMOKED WINGS
These take longer, but the outstanding flavor and overall tenderness is awesome! Prepare your smoker. I have a water smoker (looks like a 3.5' tall bullet on very short legs with a charcoal-holding base, a central cannister, and domed lid with temperature gauge), but smoking can also be done in a regular grill using water, wine, or juice soaked smoking wood chips, or in a wok if you're familiar with that method. Wings are safely smoked through after two hours, so prepare well in advance for this fantastic culinary treat! In a water smoker you can use water, broth, wine, vinegar, or juice in the drip bowl. I enjoy smoking using fruit tree and herb cuttings from the backyard instead of store-bought wood chips. Don't just throw anything in as smoking material! The wrong woods or other substances can make a meal inedible. The basic idea behind smokers is long, slow cooking at a low temperature. You really don't need to create much smoke at all to produce the desired flavor, but different smoking materials will alter the results. In a wok or regular grill, the smoking materials should be soaked and placed in a foil packet with a few holes poked in it to release the smoke.

Use no foil beneath the meat this time. Arrange the wings on the grate with nothing touching the sides or overlapping. It doesn't matter which way you place them because you don't turn things over when you cook in this method. You may marinate or coat with dry seasonings for extra flavor or skin texture. Use no sauce while cooking. The main rule here is temperature: NEVER let it drop below ideal. My smoker only says, Low, Ideal, and Hot, though some display actual temperatures. Every time the temperature happens to drop too low, an extra twenty minutes of smoking in the ideal range is recommended to be safe. Generally, the smoker should stay between two-hundred and two-hundred and fifty degrees farenheit. Once the wings are cooked, they should be a rich brown color, the meat tender and mottled bruise-red. Smoked meats are often red colored--this is normal and does not indicate that the flesh is still raw. In chicken, underdone meat is rubbery and tends to resist easy pulling from the bone, perfectly cooked meat should be firm and juicy and uniformly white, while overcooked but not yet burned meat is soft and falls from the bone easily. You may find the wings delicious as they are without additional flavoring, or extra seasoning or sauces may be used as you desire. Because smoking is done at low temperatures, warming the sauce before serving it is a nice touch in this instance. Should you find the skin a little tough, try brushing the finished wings with a little warmed oil or melted butter.

We eat wings as a main course here, so we average seven to fifteen wings per adult depending on their size. I've deep-fried them in small batches in oil in my wok, but the meat has always cooked unevenly. I have no use for an actual deep-fryer though this is the preferred method of cooking. They can also be prepared for twenty to twenty-five minutes in a three hundred and fifty degree oven on a bake sheet, turning halfway through cooking.

Always use flavorings sparingly to start, then build up to them. It's easier to make something spicier or hotter than it is to try and tone the flavors down. I enjoy some of the hottest sauces, but only the ones which balance the heat with flavor. Wings that are nothing but heat are rarely enjoyable and may cause an interesting burning in another part of the body once it's done absorbing whatever was actually edible in the meal. When serving guests, have bread and butter or vegetable sticks or salad with a creamy dressing available to take some of the heat away from their tongues. Smoke flavoring is unnecessary when smoking (which I assume you already knew along with the fact you really oughtn't smoke foods in the house). Deep frying is the preferred method when breaded wings are desired. Sauces can be made thicker with the addition of a little flour, cornstarch, or arrowroot powder, or thinned with extra water, juice, or other complimentary liquid. Leftover wings may be reheated in the microwave or other means, but they're never as good the second time around.

Some of the tastiest and most tender wings I ever had were sealed in foil on the grill for half an hour, then removed and finished directly over the heat source on the grate. This is not a method I'm adept at, but perhaps you could be if it strikes your fancy. I don't claim to be Lord Of The Wings--I'm trying to help you claim that title for yourself. Perhaps, with experience, we could band together and form a Fellowship Of The Wings...

Er, maybe not. Stay tuned for my next installment: Polynesian Porking, Or Let's Get Lei'd!