She walked into the room wearing a long, shimmering silver gown, sexy mules peeking out at the bottom, her onyx colored hair held up by a tortoise shell comb, with ringlets cascading, softly framing her beautiful face.
Candles lit, the atmosphere romantic, her skin glistened like soft velvet: when he saw her, he gasped but for a moment, for she took his breath away.
Walking towards her, love emanating from his sensual dark eyes, he took her hand and twirled her around like a ballerina and they stood facing a long, antique mirror…both their reflections looking back at them…he marveled at her voluptuousness and told her how sexy and beautiful she was and how he was the happiest man alive since that afternoon, since their elopement.
She did not quite see the same thing. Ignoring her face, the radiance that glow which was captured in the mirror…..she could not get past the flesh she saw hanging over the strap of her gown….like oversized buns, soft and mushy. But what she feared most in the instant was him seeing her…fully naked for the first time.
While they dated, she hid herself well with lingerie and made sure the lights were always out, she laid a certain way to make her belly flatter, making sure to wake up earlier than he did and put on a robe so he had never truly seen her before this evening.
2 people with 2 very different views. How long before she fills his head with her insecurities and he too, will start to see her differently…not because he wants to, but he will start to see her as she sees herself.
She has a negative body image, due to low self esteem…they are intertwined
Self esteem is how “you” feel about yourself, not what others think. Your self esteem is more than likely a result of years of conditioning, insults never forgot how you’ve compared yourself to others whether in the real world or those figures grazing the fashion pages.
Beauty comes in a multitude of colors, sizes, shapes and ages and is a state of mind. It is what you believe, so before embarking on your next diet let me say this: We need to put our minds on a “diet” to rid ourselves of the “Negative talk” and replace it with “Positive Talk”. To truly believe you are: intelligent, beautiful, sexy, gorgeous, attractive, bodacious and worth living the life you deserve and desire.
The past no longer has any power over you!
A few tips: For all the negative conditioning over the years, go to a relaxed area of your home, relax, light a candle, make an ambiance that fills you with serenity….Take a pen and paper and write all the things that have hurt you, the scenarios, people, insults, turn it into a letter or point form, whatever you want, now the best part J Take what you’ve written and burn it! Envision that the hurt and pain is burning with those flames, FOREVER! This may take several sessions, but I promise it works…forgiveness is one of the first steps to being an enlightened/voluptuous woman!
Write down 5 things that are positive about what you look like….now write down 5 things that are positive about who you are…focus on those 10 things for the next few weeks, write them down, make it a mantra, repeat it several times a day, post it on your fridge as a reminder….this alone will enable you to begin your journey to a more positive you.
It pains me to hear women say, “I’ll start dating when….” “I’ll change jobs when….” Or “my life will be so much better when….” When what? You lose weight? You are putting yourself and your life on hold for a number that is going down on a scale? You are giving up your power to a number. If you desire to eat better for health reasons, great…by all means we all want to be healthier and able to enjoy life…however, to constantly be putting your life on “hold” until you become a “magic” number…..is not the way to live, we only this ride around the merry go round called “life” once so make it a ride that you can enjoy and be proud of!
I have lived 90% of my life as a Rubenesque, voluptuous woman I can say that at the age of 48 I have never felt more beautiful! Why? Because I love who I have become over the years, for I have gained wisdom, experience and maturity…and a love for the most important person in my life: myself!
Teresa Giosia
Writer/Motivational Speaker/Life Coach
