Within the seed of our mistake there is another door to be opened; another vista to be viewed.
To Err is Creative
"He who never made a mistake," Samuel Smiles once said, "never made a discovery."
Why is there always this ridiculous ‘shame' connected with making a mistake. Why do we feel that the world is crumbling down around us when we commit a faux pas? Is it possible that our upbringing and education discouraged ‘mistakes'? Of course it did.
You and I were TESTED frequently. These tests, which should have been used to only help us self correct, were instead used like battering rams to accuse us of poor performance.
We were compared to other students, those that achieved a high grade were praised, the lower grades were frowned upon. This constant competition will grate on the sensitive soul to the point of deep discouragement and produce gathering amounts of fear. Nothing more. There is no value in it this way, and yet— educational institutions continue to blatantly use such testing to determine the worth of an individual, rather than as a tool to help her achieve more.
Testing ourselves is valuable, of course. Even useful to a great extent. We can look at our work from a more logical and dispassionate viewpoint. We can SEE our mistakes.
But to assign blame to those mistakes is folly.
In this week's Creative Pop I want you to rebel against this institutional concept of failure and making mistakes. Instead, all this week strive to see the BENEFIT in your mistakes. I want you to re-label them too!
Start calling them MIS-STEPS instead. By doing this you will force your conscious judgement of a mistake into a newer, fresher vocabulary which will automatically create pause, and a chance to understand the phenomenon of ‘making mistakes'.
The wonderful thing about being a creative human being is that you can be sure to make at least one mistake this week. No need to wait around for fodder with which to work, my dear friend.
When you make this mistake I want you to open this newsletter (or if you've made a hard copy— look at it) and ask yourself these questions:
1) How does this failure compare to the last BIG mistake that you made in the last few years?
2) What are the hidden benefits of this mistake. Look closer, really consider the long and short term consequences of this mistake.
3) What discovery can you make from this mistake. About yourself, about others, about life in general?
4)What new opportunity is created out of your mistake? There is always a new door that opens if we are aware of our frailty.
Let me explain each of these questions just a bit more so you'll get a handle on how important it is to our creative lives.
By comparing your current, weekly failure or "mis-step" with a much larger one from the past (Question #1) you can get perspective on it. I won't reveal my mistake of a few years ago, but will tell you of one of my biggest. As a young boy of 13 I ran away from a very prestigious private school. Graduates of this prep school always went on the attend the finest universities in the nation including Harvard, Yale, — well you get the picture. It was a fabulous opportunity afforded me by my father who spent a great deal of money in tuition (this was many years ago). I refused to attend it any longer, much to my parents despair. I was miserable there and so depressed that I scooted away in the middle of the night. I wasn't the only one that did so, and there were some boys that actually would commit suicide at the school, but nonetheless, I bolted. This HUGE ‘miss-step' has made a major difference in the later quality of my life, I'm sure.
Now, having made this large mistake, I can compare my latest screw-up in a more generous light. It is not often one gets to make a mess like that! Everything else pales in comparison, really. SO now, I'm gentler with myself. More forgiving and see these ‘minor' mistakes with a new perspective.
You can do the same thing. I hope you never make LARGE, irretrievable mistakes, like I did as a young boy, but if you have— remember them— in the light of your current ones and your attempts to live a joyful, creative existence amongst the thorns of ‘missed opportunities' and dreadful ‘mis-steps'.
Next, in looking for the hidden benefits of your mistake this week (Question #2) you will have to search with a desire to BENEFIT from what has occurred. Our natural reaction is to say: "There is no benefit. I feel terrible!" But that attitude robs us of growth. If you look carefully you will always find a REASON for failure.
The simplest example is the student that just didn't study his material and decided to go to a party instead. Therefore, he failed the test. He can look at that failing grade and realize it was the CHOICE he made which brought on the failure or he can merely ‘feel bad' and ‘defeated.' The first produces growth and finds reason and value. The second offers no support, reason or growth.
In question #3 we find ourselves looking to make a discovery out of the ashes of defeat. Making a mistake is human, we know that— but how is it that rational, well intended persons like US could make them? Well, the answer to that is your discovery. There is a hidden gem of humility and compassion to be found in your ‘mis-steps' if you are prepared to look for them.
Finally, Question #4 is an automatic outgrowth at having done the searching and probing through the other questions. We come to see a glimmer of light out there amidst the fog of uncertainty and indecision. Within the seed of our mistake there is another door to be opened; another vista to be viewed. What is it? Can you now walk through it more bravely and with courage?
Go out and boldly commit your mistake this week. But remember the benefit of later analysis. Letting a ‘mis-step' occur, feeling remorse and then letting it go because it's just too painful to contemplate— is a waste of your God-given creativity and humanity.
Remember, — to err is creative!
VKP
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Thank you for sharing your positiveness. Jared.