It’s Thursday and almost time for the weekend. I really feel worn out like I’ve been boxing all night long. How can you wake up tired? It was war of the mind, war of the spirit, and war of the emotions all night long. I’ve been in fight and was loosing but God…. Ok, just let me tell you about it!
I stood outside the ring looking at my opponent with cutting eyes and tight lips. My partner was just sitting back relaxing, not warming up, not sweating, not even punching thin air pretending to fight. I knew I had the ups on my opponent because I came with reenforcement and he was an army of one. So I began to talk things over with my partner… “He thinks he can just have my family and friends. He thinks I have no choice or say in the matter. He thinks my life will always be this way and there’s no way out (he even told me I was going to fail). He tried to manipulate me and my children with fear and talk of failures. He has smoke and trick mirrors everywhere I turn. He tried to set up doubt when I wasn’t looking. He even told me I need to make some sacrifices so that I can be loved. He thinks he has won so that’s why I called you. I knew I couldn’t handle him by myself because he is somewhat crafty and a trickster. I’m going in first partner because from the looks of things you’re well rested and I’m ready to fight.” With that being said my partner tagged me in. The bell rang and I jumped in the ring.
I started bobbing and weaving, throwing punches left and right. I hit him hard with a body shot and saw his knees begin to wobble. I ran up on him and began punching like a crazy woman because I knew I had hurt him. As I moved in closer I heard laughter from him. He looked up and motioned for me to punch him hard in the face so I did. He didn’t move but continued to laugh. I hit him with another body shot and he laughed even harder. I looked over at my partner in confusion and felt a sharp blow to the back of my head. I was dizzy and panicked as my knees began to wobble. My opponent came in fast and swinging faster. He hit me in the head, the chest, the temple, the stomach and even below the belt. The referee never said a word. He was cheating for my opponent. I wanted to scream but my partner was so relaxed as he gestured for me to keep fighting. The bell finally rang and I went back to my corner. My partner began talking me thru the fight. He advised me of the trick moves to look out for. I wanted to tag my partner in badly but his carefree attitude made me think otherwise. 
Round 2
The bell rang and I jumped up and started swinging, however I was fighting 7 others that looked just like my opponent. I wondered where they’d all come from but with all the massive blows I was taking I couldn’t think straight anymore and felt myself fading fast. I cried for my partner to step in but my partner said I must tag first as he sat with his legs crossed and flipping thru what appeared to be my book. I screamed, “Are you serious, I’m getting beaten and you’re reading my book. HELP ME!” My partner simple stated to tag first and then he will do the rest. I was fighting a loosing battle fast and the blows were making me see stars and tasting blood as well as the canvas. Right before I touched the canvas my opponent whispered I was nothing, I can’t take a punch, I was exactly everything he told me and he was coming for my family and friends next. I’d had enough and allowed my hands to break my fall. I crawled to my partner on my hands and knees with all 7 of these opponents on my back. It was strange that I was able to drag all of them along with me as I reached for my partner’s hand to tag. It was 23 seconds left in round 2 but I knew I had to get out of it quick.
Tag!!! I smacked the hand of my partner and he put the book down and politely stepped in the ring. He moved quick like lightning. He stung like a bee. He trampled over all 7 of them with one foot. They all screamed and begged my partner to stop. I sat back amazed at how relaxed my partner still looked even in a fight. He didn’t sweat, or even get braised with a punch. It almost looked as if they were afraid. By the time the bell rang the fight was over and my opponent and his friends were all stretched out, punch drunk and barely breathing. My partner motioned for me to enter the ring and when I did my opponent and his friends jumped up ready to fight. I griped hold to my partners hand as he began spinning me around. He whispered for me to stick out my legs so that my feet would catch each one of them in the face.
As my partner swung me around slowly, kinda like the tango dance, I stretched out my feet and each time I hit an opponent they went flying from the ring and disappearing into thin air. I didn’t think it was that much power or force behind it because we were moving so slowly. I was down to the last one, the main one who started all the fighting, but as my feet hit him he gripped hold of my ankles. My partner looked me in the eyes as I read his lips saying for me to not be afraid. My opponents grip got stronger and I began kicking uncontrollably. My partner once again stated “Do not be afraid” I looked again into my partners eyes and that’s when I saw it. I saw my partner for who he was. It was my FUTURE! I looked at my opponent who was exposed as well. My opponent was my PAST and I was stuck PRESENTLY in between the two! I held strong to my future and kicked away at my past. My future said, “Stop fighting, he’s holding on because you’re fighting. I only advised for you stick out your legs. I will not let you go! You see what happened when you stuck out your legs with the others, they disappeared as vapor. This opponent only holds on because you gave him something to hold. Don’t fight and don’t be afraid, he will let go because he has no power over your future if you take hold to this present moment with my power!”
I stopped kicking and wrapped my arms around my future tight, my past let go and disappeared as vapor, but not without leaving scars.
The lesson from this battle…. Don’t allow your present to get stuck between your future and your past. You have to decide which you will follow!
Much Love,
Tracy B
