Bookshops don't want to stock your book? Simple publicity tips that will make them come to you. (A fun guide.)

So you've written your masterpiece, had it published and now you're
waiting for all those sales to roll in. But they haven't? No-one's
buying? The bookstores don't want to know?

Just for some fun, here are ten things you can think on to make sure that
the bookstores will come to you, just begging you to let them
stock your book! :-)

1. Change your name to Stephen King/Nora Roberts/John Grisham by
deed poll.

2. Have an affair with the president/prime minister/king/queen/prince
(delete as appropriate)

3. Buy a million copies yourself to get in the Best Seller Lists.

4. Fail at Pop Idol

5. Get evicted from the Big Brother House.

6. Streak at a popular sporting event.

7. Do a naked skydive with only a copy of your book to hide your
modesty. :-)

8. Become a supermodel/actor/sports person.

9. Buy thousands of your books and have them delivered to the pavement
outside the New York's Times office.

10. Become a recluse, don't give interviews and watch them coming
to you.

These are just for fun, not an instruction manual. :-)