"He's not perfect. You aren't either, and the two of you will never be perfect..." Bob Marley

Are you searching for that perfect partner of your dreams? Are you searching for that 'Knight-in-shining-amour' that will bring everlasting 'sunshine' into your life? Are you searching for that 'ready-made' perfect gentleman that meets all your 'daughter-of-eve' expectations?

Forget it; he doesn’t exist! And that’s simply because he is just a figment of your own imagination - your mental creation. You can’t find a 'perfect' partner anywhere in the world, but you certainly can find a partner that is right for you. And that should be your real target, if you must avoid a self imposed endless search and misery for yourself.

Instead of a never-ending search for that elusive 'perfect' man that you'll never find, focus on finding a man that is 'right' for you, by simply adjusting your expectations. Throw away that fairy-tale 'perfect-man-checklist' and consider instead the sacred-couples 'right-man' checklist:

Go for a Man you can love with all your heart.

Go for a Man who accepts you for the person you are.

Go for a Man who accepts you just the way you are.

Go for a man whose presence makes you happy.

Go for a Man whose presence makes you comfortable and relaxed.

Here is Bob Marley’s take on this:

"He's not perfect. You aren't either, and the two of you will never be perfect. But if he can make you laugh at least once, causes you to think twice, and if he admits to being human and making mistakes, hold onto him and give him the most you can. He isn't going to quote poetry, he's not thinking about you every moment, but he will give you a part of him that he knows you could break. Don't hurt him, don't change him, and don't expect for more than he can give. Don't analyze. Smile when he makes you happy, yell when he makes you mad, and miss him when he's not there. Love hard when there is love to be had. Because perfect guys don't exist, but there's always one guy that is perfect for you." …Bob Marley

Ironically, it is the anticipated joy from these same expectations being met that spur us into relationships. However, if you want to be happy in your relationship, if you want your relationship to grow, you must adjust and manage your expectations. The less you expect, the less you will be disappointed with, and therefore the happier you’ll likely remain. It is your insistence on always having your expectations met that leads to unhappiness and disillusion. Be wise!

To enjoy great relationships simply purge yourself of the 'Perfect Partner' Mentality. All the best!

© Jay Onwukwe

Sex Transmutation

(A Beginners's Guide)

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