I don’t know why I was asked to meet with our city’s mayor here at his home this morning. Maybe some people wanted me to express some thoughts in this forum in a way in which they’re usually not communicated here! I don’t know. Anyway, Mayor Jennifer is taping my words now, so I’ll begin. But the things I’m going to talk about here will all be unorganized. That’s the way I think, I guess. I’m just going to tell you some random thoughts that I think might interest, or even help you. And when I’m done talking, maybe you’ll feel I’ve left some things unsaid. Well, we all could, and maybe should say more about certain topics. But I’ll say today what’s on my mind today, and I’ll leave tomorrow’s ponderings to be pondered by myself then.

And when the overlords of our city asked me to verbalize this piece, they informed me that I was to give my best impersonation of Mayor Jennifer near its beginning and at its end. And, when I asked them what I was to say as an impersonation they said “Near the piece’s beginning, make a powerful statement on the mayor’s behalf, and at its ending, through your own words, pose a question to the mayor, and again in your own words, answer that question on his behalf.”

So, alright, here goes Mayor Jennifer’s supposed powerful opening statement:  “I know that a lot of people don’t have much respect for pretenders, but maybe in their defense we could say that usually such people aren’t known to be advocates of young men who kill their parents and then expect society to pity them. And pretenders aren’t often known to be murderers, or cheating spouses who fell out of love with their partners, and into love with killers and life insurance payouts. And – by God I’ll promise you this, as long as George Jennifer serves as mayor of this city, there’ll be no compassion here for those who in any way illegally denigrate the lives and lifestyles of honest Americans.”

There, that was my forceful beginning on behalf of the mayor. But now it’s time to move on here. And that concept – moving on – isn’t it actually a shocking one? And sometimes I just can’t fathom how time keeps moving on! It keeps on. And when I think about many of the significant events that have occurred over the centuries, it sometimes seems then that I can somehow project myself across certain time spans and actually become a part of those happenings. Gee, if only I’d been there, I could have done so much to…

            But a few nights ago I saw one of the most brutal movies I’ve ever seen. It showed a murderess dismembering the corpse of a victim she’d just “offed.” And that film then bothered me when it was time for me to go to bed. And I’m sleeping alone now, so I took one of those anxiety pills before I retired, and it helped me through my sleeping hours. I was afraid I might have some bad dreams, or something like them.

            Anyway, I got through the night alright, but the next day I was sort of… well, I don’t know, I wasn’t really crabby; I was kind of just weird, I guess. And then I said and did some things which drove some certain people “up the wall” so to speak. And while I’m sorry for that, I’m not sorry that all I’ve just told you happened, because all those things made me think that maybe it’s time I really do try harder to change the way I am, and the way I’ve been.

            But you know, I’ve always had what some people might call a fixation with the past. I’ve always been bothered by some of the bad things that have happened to me and because of me. Sure, I know people say I should forget past events – at least the bad ones; but I think they know as well as I do that it’s not so easy to do that.

            And the past has a way of showing up on my doorstep uninvited like some of my old boyfriends used to do. And then when I refused to let them come in, they got really angry. I guess they thought we could do some of the things we used to do right then, at that time. But I guess what I’m saying is that if I could say “NO” to those old suitors, I should also be able to say “NO” to past concerns, but it’s not that easy.

            And now, I want to tell you about another movie I saw recently. It was about an English writer named Virginia Woolf. Well, she wrote some famous books. “To The Lighthouse” is the only one of them that I’ve read. But I was kind of surprised and shocked to learn that she committed suicide at the age of fifty-nine. I guess sometimes “creative type” people end up not living very long. Some of them pass away from any number of things that normally don’t end the lives of so-called “normal, everyday people,” and that’s the main reason I’m going to ask the mayor for his answer (actually it will be my own) to the question that will end this piece.

            But have you ever noticed how certain things seem to happen to you at certain times in your life, and then when you think back upon them, you have to admit that yes (and I’m beginning to despise this phrase, I think it’s overused, but it surely is true ) they happened for a reason? But I suppose we can all understand that just because some random events occurred, and they seemed to have some special significance to where our lives were “at” at those times, their happenings won’t matter much unless we learn, and then enforce the lessons they’re apparently trying to show us.

            And in that sense, maybe the leaders of our city wanted the mayor to tape my words today because they felt that my “down home” ways would inspire people to remain positive. I’m sure they’re getting tired of all the negativity around us. I know I am! And gee, it’s so easy to become a pessimist today! And it’s so easy to become a narcissist. No, don’t become either of those!

            But mayor Jennifer has told me he’s going to name what I’ve said here in a way that it seems to be connected with pretending. Well, everyone pretends sometimes I suppose. Still, I like to know what’s real, and what’s really going on. And in this particular city, reality and imagination both seem to be somehow “real,” if you can understand that!

            So I’m going to end here with the question I’ve promised to ask the mayor. And I’ll have him submit that question to you verbatim as I asked it, and as he supposedly answered it. My question is:  “Mayor, why are artistically gifted people always in search of things they’ll never find?”

            And his answer (actually crafted by me) was:  “Because that’s the very essence of art – to always be in search of new insights concerning life itself. But the majority of mortals strive only for what they consider necessary to facilitate themselves until their dying days. Yet, even such “down to Earth” people, as well as creative types are stymied during their lifetimes by still another group of mortals. And those are such people as wish all of life would forever remain as it’s always been. And, although some people might refer to them as being simply “set in their ways,” they’re far beyond that! Theirs is a dedicated effort to further non-change and nothingness.”