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  Home > Humor > Articles Popular: Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry      Authors: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z     
Quincey Burkhalter

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Recipe for a Lyrical Poem
by Quincey Burkhalter   
Rated "R" by the Author.
     

A recipe for what most think is Lyrical poetry. A synical view filled with dark humor.

  

4 ½ cups warm hands on a keyboard                           3 cups nonsense

1 cup mind-fuck (Minced)                                           ½ cup juicy bits of used up brain cells

½ cup confusing and snobby word choice                   3 tablespoons etherized logic (chopped)

2 tablespoons vivid yet confusing imagery                  1 ½ tablespoons allusions of ugly thoughts

1 tablespoon assiduous effort                                      1 tablespoon angst and frustration

2 teaspoons creativity (melted)                                                1 teaspoon barehanded justification

*½ teaspoon sexual innuendo (diced)                          *1 pinch masturbated emissions of the mind

(* optional)

Use a glass bowl to mix the dry ingredients swiftly without spilling any mind-fuck. Mind fuck is corrosive on its own and will eat through anything it touches; so, be careful and wear rubber gloves. Stir in slowly the confusing imagery and allusions of ugly thought until the batter has a consistency of educated dipshits. Add brain-cells and etherized logic and fold them in carefully. Sexual innuendo and masturbated emissions will need to be stirred together separately and refrigerated overnight.

 

Preset the word processor to 350° or Broil if you feel the need to char your readers and overload their synapses. Bake, broil or fabricate for 20 to 30 minutes depending on whether it is sunny outside or cloudy. Bake if it’s sunny. Broil if it’s cloudy. Fabricate if there is a nuclear winter.

 

Let cool and sprinkle with barehanded justification. Heat up the sexual mixture and pour slowly over the poem until no reasonable explanation is left.

 

(Serves 8 to 10 reasonably delusional miscreants or 4 pale white suburban housewives)


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