AuthorsDen.com   Join | Login    
Where Authors and Readers come together!

SIGNED BOOKS    AUTHORS    BOOKS    SAMPLE CHAPTERS    AUDIOBOOKS    eBOOKS    STORIES    ARTICLES    POETRY    BLOGS    NEWS    VIDEOS    SUCCESS    TESTIMONIALS

Featured Authors:  William Cottringer, iGracie McKeever, iErin Kelly-Moen, iMel Hathorn, iJohn Burns, iFlo Fitzpatrick, iMargaret Mullings, iWilliam Manchee, iLinda Frank, iBob mitchley #shock stories, i

  Home > Humor > Articles Popular: Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry      Authors: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z     

Tom Garrison

 Follow Me  

· Contact Me
· Books
· Articles
· News
· Stories
· 30 Titles
· 20 Reviews
· Save to My Library
· Share with Friends!
·
Member Since: Mar, 2014

Tom Garrison, click here to update your pages on AuthorsDen.


2020 Thanksgiving Thankful List
by Tom Garrison   
Not "rated" by the Author.
     
Recent articles by
Tom Garrison

• Hiking Southern Utah: Kanab’s toadstools are cool
• Too Many Choices?
• Elkhart Cliffs Canyon
• 2017 Thanksgiving Thankful List
• White Owl Canyon Trail: Slots in the Wilderness
           >> View all

Each November. I compose a “Thanksgiving Thankful List” for the preceding year. My wife, Deb, and I enjoy our life in red rock southern Utah and have many things for which we are thankful. I hope sharing them brings a smile and acknowledgement that even the seldom thought of can be a source of thankfulness. Below is my 2020 list.

1. I’m thankful for yardsticks. In this era of social distancing, knowing how far six feet is can be useful. Here’s what you do. Take three yard sticks and place two of them end to end with the third one on top. Make sure the ends of the one on top line up at the 1 ½ feet (18 inches) mark on the bottom two sticks. Wrap some strong tape around all three sticks at several places. You now have a solid six foot measuring stick to keep away those unwanted germ infested humans.
2. I’m grateful for gloves. Consider: You have completed the perfect crime—trace evidence vacuumed up, footprints rubbed out, and your gloves preclude pesky fingerprints being left behind.
Wait, wait, I didn’t mean to say that. What I meant was gloves are good because they protect your hands when pruning rosebushes or while digging a trench for a new irrigation line in your backyard. Forget that crime stuff.
3. I value the flexibility of the English language. (The people who study such things estimate the number of words in the English language from about 175,000 in current usage to more than a million that have ever been used.) I enjoy employing perfectly fine words that are not much used in common speech/writing. Words such as doohickey, penultimate, and clowder. Can they be used in one sentence? Sure. “Use the doohickey to move that clowder to the penultimate room.” Or in common speak, “Use that gadget to move that large group of cats to the second to last room.”
4. I appreciate long lines at supermarket checkouts, the Department of Motor Vehicles, and so on. I know most normal people consider long, slow lines the bane of humanity. However, unlike most people I enjoy telling jokes to strangers. Long lines give me a chance to turn to a fellow line-mate and tell them a joke or two. Nothing beats getting a smile, or even laugh, from a complete stranger.
How about a couple of one-liners suitable for in-line strangers? Did you know that prior to the invention of crowbars, crows had to do all their drinking at home?
Which dinosaur had an extensive vocabulary? The Thesaurus.
5. I’m glad electrons exist. Without the little buggers, electricity would not exist. Without electricity we would not have luminescent lightbulbs to drive away the night, no computers, no Tesla cars, no stoplights, no electric motors of any kind. Those are all good, but mostly without electricity, my misspent youth playing pinball machines would not have happened. Put the silver sphere in play, work the flippers, rack up the points—adolescent nirvana.
6. I’m thankful for our cats, Bob and Willa. Cats have many traits to appreciate, but one stands out—their ability to show affection. What? There is a popular misconception that cats are aloof and not very affectionate. If you gain a cat’s trust—don’t yell at them, be kind to them, play with them, quit petting them when they have had enough, and so on—you will have a friend for life. They will look at you and give a slow eye blink. Or do a soft head butt on your head. Or the classic winding through your legs and rubbing against you. All are signs of trust and affection.
7. I’m thankful for George Orwell’s masterful dystopian novel 1984. Published in 1949, this amazing book clearly shows the deleterious effects of a large out-of-control central government and extreme cancel culture. While Orwell entertains with a great story, he also warns about letting too many individual rights slip away. I’m not thankful that so many politicians and political activists act as though 1984 was a guide book to imposing tyranny and not as a warning.

I hope everyone recalls the many things, obvious and not so obvious, to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.


Want to review or comment on this article?


Need a FREE Reader Membership?
Popular Humor Articles
  1.  Penny Power
  2.  Pedicure and Chicken
  3.  Snow White Trailer Trash Talk
  4.  Beware the Tsundoku!
  5.  Poetry Submission
  6.  Kaltenheiss's famed Katya im Boxer qua
  7.  Shot/No Shot
  8.  How to Survive Bean Soup, The Game.
  9.  Losing Ticket
  10.  Dilatation of Closed Phrenix Confabula
  11.  The Great Turtle Stampede
  12.  Precedent Linkin's Gettysberg A Dress
  13.  Imminent Danger
  14.  Breaking Bad meets Star Trek and Pies
  15.  Getting Old In The Real World
  16.  The Left-Handed Heart
  17.  More GFI
  18.  Toughest Million
  19.  NEW KEYBOARD
  20.  FALLEN
  21.  Hollywood Coffee
  22.  My colonoscopy 3/20/14 – I have to tel
  23.  Spark Plug
  24.  Battle of the Bulge: Jesus Hates Speed
  25.  Segments from a Bifurcated Life

Free Book Review Program
Select a book to read and review today!

Thirteen Sick Tasteless Classics by Jay Dubya

Thirteen Sick Tasteless Classics satirizes and lampoons thirteen famous short fiction works that are given new adult spins.  
Member BookAds

Jay Dubya's 53rd Book: PLOTS by Jay Dubya

PLOTS is Jay Dubya's 53rd book that satirizes in adult form major works of Poe, London, O. Henry. Twain and Shakespeare.  
Member BookAds

Thirteen Sick Tasteless Classics, Part IV by Jay Dubya

Thirteen Sick Tasteless Classics, Part IV is adult literature featuring adult content and language that satirizes thirteen famous short fiction works.  
Member BookAds