Changes can be very disorientating for older people. Perhaps one of the biggest changes that you will need to organise for your parents is the transition from fully independent living to relying on a carer, or moving into a care home.
According to Live-in Care Hub 97% of elderly people do notwant to move into a care home if they become unable to care for themselves. If you are unable or unwilling to meet the care needs of your parents you will likely be faced with the choice of going against their wishes, or introducing a live in carer.
A live-in carer will take over running the household, adapting the level of care provided to the abilities and needs of the person they are caring for. Managing the early stages will promote a better and more beneficial relationship between your parent and their carer.
1. Discuss the idea with them
Introducing a carer may have been your idea. You may have been the one who spotted that your parent was struggling with day-to-day life, but it is your parent who needs to accept that care so it is important that they are happy with the idea. Make sure you take into account their views when searching for a suitable carer. If your agency provides you with a choice of carer then look at the profiles together, giving your parent the chance to veto any candidates.
2. Provide Photographs
It is common for older people to have memory difficulties, perhaps because they have dementia, and they may struggle to recall the name of their carer. Your carer should introduce themselves clearly and may wear a name badge. Taking a photograph of the carer, labelling it and placing it where your parent can read it clearly can help them remember who is taking care of them from day to day. This can be especially important if your parent requires two or more carers working on a rota system to meet their needs.
3. Take it slowly
If your parent seems reluctant to accept that they need a carer, or is reluctant to accept help from anyone other than family, you may need to introduce the carer slowly. Perhaps they can come round for a cup of tea one day, then the next stay for a meal and so on until your parent is happy in their company. If things are clearly not working out between your parent and their carer then ask the agency for advice – they may be able to send another carer who will be a better “fit”.
4. Be there
Your parent may be unwilling to accept help from a stranger so it is important to make time to be there, especially if you have already been providing care. As you progress through the introductory period you should be aiming to take more of a back-seat, allowing your parent to get used to the carer in their own time.
