What Is Meant When Scripture Says, the Husband Is the Head of the Wife?

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WHAT IS MEANT WHEN SCRIPTURE SAYS, “THE HUSBAND IS THE HEAD OF THE WIFE?”

Here is another idea that is used to promulgate the perspective that as the husband is the head of the wife in marriage, so is the male the head of a woman in church authority. The key to understanding what this is all about is by taking a closer look at the word head in respect to the spiritual relationship between a husband and wife.



What does the word head mean in the marriage relationship?

Before we do this, let’s take a look at what the Lord said concerning the woman’s relationship to her husband following the fall of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden. Please open your Bible to Genesis 3.

Genesis 3:16 Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.

Mentioned here are three consequences that would befall all of the descendants of Adam and Eve concerning disobedience to God’s command to not eat of the fruit of the tree of knowledge of good and evil in the Garden of Eden.

● A woman’s sorrows relating to pregnancy will be greatly multiplied.

● Labor pains will accompany childbirth.

● Her husband shall rule over her.



Just before the words rule over are declared, Scripture tells us that the wife’s desire should be to her husband. What does the word desire mean?

The traditional approach would say that the word desire means that the desires of the woman shall be subjected to the authority and will of her husband.40 Likewise, the words shall rule over mean the weaker must serve the stronger.41 Taken together, some churches use these ideas to affirm their doctrinal perspective that as the wife is to be in subjection to her husband in the home, so a woman is to be in subjection to the male leadership in the church.

As you might or might not be aware, there could be another way to think about these words desire and shall rule over. What I mean is that the pronouncement by the Lord of the consequences of the transgression committed by Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden would impact their ancestors, i.e., those who would be born with a sin nature. In other words, the relationship between unbelieving married couples would be reflective of the words desire and shall rule over.



But what about the relationship between a husband and wife who believed in Jehovah after the fall?

Families that believed in Jehovah would follow His guidance and direction for their spiritual benefit. In some instances, it was made clear in Scripture that certain situations would require that only males would be placed in certain positions of spiritual authority or would be the beneficiaries of certain benefits. One example, which we have noted earlier in this study, was that only males of the tribe of Levi were allowed to serve in the priesthood responsibilities of the tabernacle or temple during the Age of the Jews. (Numbers 3:40-51) Another example is that the eldest son of the family would receive the birthright and blessing (Deuteronomy 21:15-17; Genesis 27:1-45). In accordance with this, God, in His time and manner, would be restoring the relationship between the husband and wife as it existed prior to the fall when Eve was Adam’s help meet (partner). As you might remember, this word suggests that she was to be a perfect resemblance of the man possessing neither inferiority nor superiority but being in all things like and equal to himself.42

You might ask, where is an example of a woman not being in subjection to the authority and will of her husband, but like Eve, equal to Adam? A woman that evidenced the attributes of being a help meet to her husband was Deborah. Do you remember who she was?

She was a female Judge. A Judge was someone whom God raised up to rule over Israel, when they would fall into apostasy and be under peril by a foreign nation or nations while they were inhabiting the Land of Canaan following the death of Moses’ successor, Joshua. She was well known for deciding the disputes of the people. (Judges 4:5) For her to be able to do this rightfully, she needed to know God’s commandments.

God raised her up to deliver Israel from Jabin, the king of Hazor. Why didn’t He raise up her husband, whose name was Lapidoth? Some churches might say this was because he wasn’t religious. In other words, he was a spiritual loser. Could it simply be that both of them followed the tenets of the Mosaic Law, and God chose to use her, who was a help meet with her husband?

So, now let’s take a look at the idea of headship as it pertains to the institution of marriage in the New Testament between two born-again Christians. Please open your Bible to the Book of

Ephesians, chapter 5.



Suggested Reading: Ephesians 5:21-33

What these verses are essentially about is the subject of submission. I think that the topic of submission could be one of the most contentious doctrines of the New Testament church. It has been used by some of them to signify unwavering obedience for the benefit or support of someone else, whether husband or someone in church leadership. We’ll begin by translating these verses according to the traditional perspective.

21 Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.

The idea to be taken from the word Submitting is that of obedience. That is obedience to deny oneself of his or her interests and conform to the interests of their fellow believers, the church. Unfortunately, this is usually extended to the leadership of the church being comprised only of males, which in some cases emphasizes the abandonment of a believer’s time and financial resources to the exclusiveness of promoting God’s Kingdom.

22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.

Likewise, in the home, a wife is to submit herself to her husband. The word submit is taken to mean to be subject to one’s superior. It can also take on the meaning to be ruled by. She is to submit to him as unto Christ Himself, whose person the husband represents.43 Obedience to Christ is evidenced by the wife’s obedience to her husband.

23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.

The reason for the wife’s submission to her husband is now given in that it’s because he is her head. The word head means has authority over. The husband has authority over the wife, even as Christ has authority over the church, of which He is the savior.

I’m sure you’re anxious to learn that there’s an alternative way to translate these verses, which will unveil to us a different perspective as to teachings on submission/headship. We’ll look at the same verses, which were just presented, but before we do, the answer to the next question will be imperative in order to provide an alternative analysis.



What should be the basis for submission?

Ephesians 5:18

And be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess; but be filled with the Spirit;

I don’t think any Christian can evidence godly submission unless he or she is filled with the Spirit.



What does it mean to be filled with the Spirit?

To be filled with the Spirit means the Holy Spirit fills the believer with Himself. This filling enables the believer to be able to experience the Spirit’s presence (power) and manifest His fruit (e.g., love, joy, peace, etc.). This fruit is a divine love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, and a divine temperance. Not a human love, joy, peace, etc. This fruit expresses a godly nature to others.

For the Spirit to fill us with Himself, we need to confess known sin, learn pertinent Scripture in respect to perceiving ourselves as the new creatures we have become at salvation, and apply God’s Word (perspective) to the various circumstances of life with which we’ll be confronted whether involving fellow believers or unbelievers. Submission is not blind obedience. It’s operating in the fruit of the Spirit by mentally thinking with the revealed truths pertaining to such.

21 Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.

With these thoughts in mind, let’s attempt to translate each of these verses again. Christians are instructed to submit themselves to one another in the fear of God. Submitting to one another can only take place when the believer has submitted herself/himself to Christ first. This means that Christ is his/her Lord. For Christ to be Lord of a Christian, the believer needs to be filled with the Spirit. By being occupied with the Word of God in the power of the Spirit, the Christian will respond to fellow believers and those in leadership with divine perspective and guidance.

22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.

The wives’ submission to their husbands must be as unto the Lord, to Christ, not to the husband as lord and master. If the husband's supremacy had been in view, it would have been expressed by tois kuriois (your lords and masters).44 As she is rightly related to the Lord, she will submit or serve her husband in divine love, which insinuates a wise, circumspect walk.45

23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.

25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,

In order to better understand the idea of what it means for a husband to be the head of the wife, we need to include a couple of verses that come after this expression. A husband should love his wife as Christ loved the church, the purpose of such love is to sanctify and cleanse her. This love is a love that impels the husband to give himself in self-sacrifice (in divine humility) for the spiritual well-being of the one who is loved46; to promote the salvation of their [wives] and their constant edification in righteousness.47 This provides us an illustration of what headship is all about.

With that said, what can we now say what the words, the husband is the head of the wife, mean?

It means that the husband is like Christ48, a Christ-like example to his wife. If he is, and in accordance, she herself is submitted to Christ, then she will recognize such and receive that which promotes spiritual growth and true happiness in her own life as well as him receiving from her that which promotes spiritual growth and happiness in his own life. This translation clearly delineates to us that this idea of headship in the marriage has nothing to do with whether the leadership positions in the church are gender-specific.

Wow! I’m sure you’ve heard the expression, what a difference a day makes. Well, what about the expression, what a difference a translation makes.

We have one more scriptural section left to consider. This is probably used as the pinnacle defense that only men are called to the leadership positions of the church. Are you ready to take a close look at these verses? Please proceed to the next chapter.



Endnotes

40Jamieson, Faucet, and Brown.

41Barnes.

42Adam Clarke’s Commentary.

43Jamieson, Faucet, and Brown.

44Weust.

45The Pulpit Commentary.

46Weust’s Word Studies from the Greek New Testament Pc Study Bible version 5, 2005, Access Date ˂http://www.biblesoft.com>.

47Adam Clarke’s CommentaryPc Study Bible version 5, 2004, Access Date ˂http://www.biblesoft.com>.

48Weust’s Word Studies.



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