self help, suicide awareness, recovery and insight of The Shattered Oak Book

The Shattered Oak, Overcoming Domestic Abuse and a Misdiagnosis of Mental Illness," by Sherry Genga is published by Safe Goods in Sheffield, MA is based on a true story. It is an open and honest reflections of personal experience with domestic abuse, the profound realities of recovery, and a startling, and ultimately triumphant, resolution. This book is a valuable resource for those in need of help and reveals how one heroic soul faced extremes of abuse and trauma with love, and with determination recovered her life.

Can suicide be in your family’s future? With suicide you never know what thoughts are racing through the saddened mind. Sometimes we are unable to fathom why our friend, sibling, mother or father committed suicide. People around them assumed they were so happy, always laughing and smiling, never revealing signs that they were so depressed. Look at Robin Williams the famous comedian, who was always passing a joke. I feel suicidal people wear a mask and rarely share their true self or feelings. Whether they are ashamed of their depression or feel alone where they cannot trust anyone, they keep their thoughts a secret. Maybe some suicidal people want their privacy and don’t have the courage to ask for help when their mental state manifests the thoughts of choosing death? They may feel like they are in a vacuum, with darkness slowly seeping in. Can suicidal minds feel blurred and even upside down, bringing them to the brink of insanity? In successful attempts, their demise is silent and not very forgiving.

I know first-hand as a family member experienced several suicide attempts. As I described in the book, The Shattered Oak, the victim was a recipient of domestic abuse from her husband. She took solace under the strong oak tree in her front yard. As she sunk further into mental illness, the oak too became distress and ill. In Barbara’s case she was lucky because she survived three suicide attempts. As we know some people aren’t so lucky. I think most of us do occasionally struggle with depression, but most filter it out and let it go. Sometimes struggling makes us stronger and gives us perspective to let go of our past and absorb our mistakes along the way. Many of us struggle with self-worth issues, but normally we rise to the occasion and succeeded. Depression can intervene in the thought process and cause us to focus on the negative.

Psychologists continually try to understand why a person’s negative view of their situation outweighs their desire to live. Clinical studies have shown that stressful situations can bring on a form of mental illness where the person is not totally in control of their decisions. For the families of those victims many questions go unanswered. Surviving suicide attempts and addressing mental illness can alter our viewpoint. Life is meant to present choices from our experiences that often change us for the positive. Barbara recovered after living through heartaches and burdens that transformed her future. Even those of us who live relatively normal lives, can learn that we have the sole capability to make beneficial choices in life. It’s how we elect to see, digest and live our lives that matters.

The survival of the victim and her family in The Shattered Oak inspires us and reminds us that if we are struggling from thoughts of suicide due to domestic abuse, there are resources available. Family members should watch for the warning signs and prevent the victim from distancing themselves from everyone. Suicide is on the rise and it is time we looked more closely at stress as a primary trigger for a variety of conditions including domestic abuse. Unfortunately, in the The Shattered Oak story, Barbara did not share her thoughts of suicide with her therapist. She kept them secret by choosing the “silent path”. From my perspective, I think many times people wear a “mask” and don’t always reveal their true feelings. I do feel it is normal to struggle with depression, if we can filter it, then release it, and then let it go. I also feel that as we learn from our struggles, we embrace important life lessons. This gives us our strength and creates our independence, and because of this, allows us to release our regrets. This powerful word, “independence”, can help us heal, when we let go of our past and embrace the fact that our mistakes give us strength along the way.

As described in The Shattered Oak, Barbara’s life was not unlike many. I always knew her story needed to be told. She experienced a dysfunctional childhood of physical and mental abuse. and rolled into her marriage that was filled with domestic abuse and alcoholism. In addition, she had to deal with verbal abuse making her feel “less” than worthless. As years went by, she was able to find the courage to get a divorce thinking all her problems would be fixed. She thought she would be happy but instead she became severely depressed and full of confused feelings of self-deprecation. All her problems felt magnified and she became emotionally drained losing her ability to focus. She became depressed and in a downward spiral towards a nervous breakdown. Because of the strain of being a single mom and shouldering the house responsibilities she found herself becoming more isolated distancing herself from her children and because of this she becomes further aware that she is slipping away from herself and her children.

As outlined in The Shattered Oak, growing up as a child, Barbara’s life was filled with abuse and neglect, similar to her husband’s broken childhood. This similar pattern manifested in a relationship of love, fear and intimidation. Because of this, Barbara was put in a vulnerable situation, half loving her husband and the other half fearing for her life. I think many women find themselves in the same situation as Barbara. They overlook warning signs that start early in a relationship. Jealousy, possessiveness, showing an angry temperament, or using a raised voice are all toxic behaviors. For Barbara, it was when prior to her marriage her fiancée showed uncontrollable rage when she was talking with a male friend. Barbara choose to ignore his signs of toxic behavior because of his charming personality and the deep love she felt for him. This prevented her from having a clear mind, not realizing that missing these warning signs would have a negative effect on their entire marriage.

Since this is a true story, you can relate to her private thoughts, fears and regrets. Because of her deep religious faith and the profound love that she had for her children, she found the survival skills to power through her web of chronic illness. A metaphor reveals the “spiritual” connection Barbara has with the vibrant old oak tree in her yard. As Barbara slowly weakens from her husband’s verbal and physical abuse, her oak tree also deteriorates, dying from the inside out like Barbara’s slow emotional demise. Relating to the story line in The Shattered Oak will inspire you to choose embracing a positive outlook on life creating hope, self-worth and gratefulness. This old oak tree became a symbol of strength throughout her deepest darkest times.

I am a firm believer of the principle that everything happens for a reason. The more I share Barbara’s story, the more I see the need to heal the delicate minds that are so unbalanced. If I knew I could not fail, I would spread the word on paper and post it on every oak tree, every bulletin board and talk to every ear willing to listen. I have learned so much about writing Barbara’s story and feeling her emotional pain that I have mapped out my own path for a more positive life. Our visions need to stay clear and only reflect on what is important, without focusing on the negative. Valuable knowledge can be extracted from our past by absorbing our mistakes along the way. Life is meant to grasp at our experiences, learning how our impressions can change us for the positive after living through our heartaches and burdens that transform our future into proud accomplishments. I have experienced trauma myself first-hand by growing up in a house full of domestic violence but thankfully ended by the salvation of divorce when I was seven.

Since writing this story, I have learned that I have the capability to make my own choices in life. It’s how I elect to see, digest and live my life that matters, realizing laughter and smiles can inspire us to get through our deepest darkest days and free our souls from depression. Domestic abuse, suicide, and mental illness all can be managed with the right resources if we are all willing to help inspire those who are in need. Barbara needs her oak tree to stay strong through the story. Just like her, I find my peace and serenity in nature. The calmness in the air helps me to understand how I can respect myself by discovering my clever spirit along the way and unearthing my inner peace. I hope you as a reader of The Shattered Oak, can benefit from the story to help you survive your own life’s journey. Some would say there is strength in numbers. Reach out to those who you love and provide comfort and protection. Seek shelter with friends if you are struggling from spousal abuse. Fear alone can take from one’s innocence. Fearful of your next attack can weaken your soul. Remember, some stories are meant to be a secret, and some stories are meant to be forgotten. Some stories need to be heard, to help the survivor live. May you all find comfort and peace in your voice that must be heard. May your prayers and your strength heal your life misfortunes. I wrote The Shattered Oak with the intention of empowering hope and strength to those who need help with domestic abuse, depression, suicide or mental illness. Reassuring them all that they are not alone in this situation and that there are resources available. I am currently married with two beautiful children residing in my hometown and am at peace.

If you enjoy a book that you can “experience” then The Shattered Oak is for you. The first-person narration without any doubt, creates a sense of pronounced visions that come alive and create emotion deep down within your subconscious mind and soul. Barbara’s is a powerful story to treasure about survival, perseverance and a depth of love only a mom with her faith can endure and conquer.
The Shattered Oak is a top selling book alongside of bestsellers and is a must read for yourself or to share as a therapeutic inspiration for others.

The Shattered Oak ~ A once vibrant oak tree in her yard began dying. Voicing cries of help through the dead leaves and moss-covered branches. Inside the house Barbara too was in crisis, the recipient of her husband’s anger and rage. As time passes Barbara can no longer stay strong. While she deals with her own demons, the oak too weakens. Based on a true story, this woman takes us inside her emotionally charged existence, letting us feel the anguish of domestic abuse, divorce, attempted suicides, and incarceration in a mental institution. A savior finally unravels the mystery surrounding her dysfunctional mental state and leads her on the path to recovery. This book is a must read for anyone going through domestic abuse or depression, or family members who are trying to make sense out of the situation.
“This is an excellent book. We as physicians, must always question that the obvious answer may not be correct. Medicine is a career of learning, unlearning, and learning anew as new diseases and cures are discovered. We should never avoid questioning a diagnosis or treatment as was well demonstrated by this book.” - Mark Tuttle, MD.

Amazon book review:

"This book possessed me" I just received the book in the mail, opened it, glanced inside to see how it begins. Did not move until I finished it. Definitely the author's narration is hypnotic. It is taking some time to return to my normal state of mind. This may sound weird, but I am describing as best I can what I have just experienced. I have been a psychotherapist for more than 30 years and I have written several self-help books. And I have read many, many more. Sherry Genga's The Shattered Oak is like nothing else I have read with the one exception being the novelist, William Styron. This book is only 120 pages. Regardless of your motivation, I suggest that you read it. -Thom Rutledge, author of Embracing Fear. Tennessee

If you are interested please visit Barnes and Noble website, Amazon, Safe Goods Publishing or www.theshatteredoak.com
Audio book will be out later this year.