My experience with domestic abuse.

Isaiah 41:13, For I the lord thy God will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, fear not; I will help thee.

Back in the late eighties I was going through an extremely trying time in my life. My now ex-husband had slowly but surely become very abusive. I cherished the hours between 8:00am and 5:00pm when he would be gone to work.

He had moved me and my then young sons miles from town with no phone. Some days he would disconnect the battery cable from my vehicle so I would be stuck out in the middle of no where. That is until I finally figured out what was going on and fixed it.

I was a young mother with not much worldly experience at this time in my life. Blessed with two beautiful sons, right from their birth I knew there was no greater gift I could ever receive.

My husband was becoming more violent by the day, sometimes he would just walk in and begin hitting me. Till one day he went for my oldest son, well let me tell you I was like a mother lion protecting her cub. NO ONE would hurt the greatest gift I would ever receive. I got in front of him and he grabbed me shoving my head in the ice-box slamming the door on my neck, face and head. When I finally got away he grabbed a glass off the counter then broke it on my face. Not thinking just wanting to survive I grabbed the rifle in our house, I was shaking all over, bleeding, I could hardly see. I stood there looking at this person I once loved ready to end this endless torment once and for all.

I couldn't I just could not let this person make me into the violence that had become a part of my life. He grabbed the gun from me, hitting me with the butt of the gun. I don't remember much more about that night. He had put me in the hospital before, but this time my strength came from within. The next morning a religious program was on our television, beaten and battered eyes swollen, nose broken I heard the man on this show say get down on your knee's and ask God for help.

Well, I did my heart and soul went into this prayer that early morning, "Please!, Heavenly Father give me a sign, help me out of this situation." About a half- hour later I was dropping my sons off at their bus stop and there on the ground at this rural bus stop in the middle of know where was my sign. An old tarnished rosary sat there at my feet. I picked it up tears filling up my swollen blackened eye's and knew this was my sign from God, all would be okay, I'm here I hear your prayers.

That rosary gave me this beaten battered woman the strength to run. Just call for help and run. Thank God, this time in my life just made me and both of my son's stronger, better people. The bond between my now strong handsome son's is stronger then any family ties I've ever seen, and has given us the opportunity to help others who have been through abuse. That sign from our Heavenly Father let me know ask with a pure heart and you shall receive.



AFRAID TO BREATH!

I sit here almost afraid to breath for I might feel the loneliness begin to set in how does someone who once loved you forget you exist. You try to talk but are told to shut up. Have you become so unimportant in this world that your voice now has no meaning? You lived once, you remember this so distant now in your mind. You were beautiful then you know, but the loneliness has made you appear almost haggard in your appearance. You were the one they once spent their lunch with, the one they would come home to see. You laughed I know I did! Life was a wonderful thing! You could take the world on your shoulders, now it's become hard to hold up your own. Is there something you need to learn here it's so hard to see through the tears. Will God bring you home soon to comfort you and take away the sorrows of the world! You pray for this time to come soon no longer able to stand the loneliness the verbal battering, you've given in. Your head is bowed. You wait-You wait. Does anybody hear does anybody even see you, you've become so invisible almost non-existent. Only God can hear!