I remember watching him sleep one night and asking myself what I wanted for this small and very helpless little boy. The answer came almost immediately. Simply put, I did Not want him to be defined by his problems. As the list of labels grew around this child: developmentally delayed, autistic, Pervasive Developmental Disorder etc, I became angrier and angrier. What a huge heavy jacket for a 9 month old infant!

When Cameron was born, we were told immediately that he would have serious problems all of his life. Due to prematurity and other factors, he was in Neonatal Intensive Care for a month before coming home. In the meantime, a vast machinery sprang to life, dedicated to helping him. Easter Seals, North Bay Regional, pediatric neurologists and more, consulted with us almost daily. We were given charts and other developmental milestone cues to assess his progress. It was extremely overwhelming for all of us.

I remember watching him sleep one night and asking myself what I wanted for this small and very helpless little boy. The answer came almost immediately. Simply put, I did Not want him to be defined by his problems. As the list of labels grew around this child: developmentally delayed, autistic, Pervasive Developmental Disorder etc, I became angrier and angrier. What a huge heavy jacket for a 9 month old infant!


I was told at one point he would never walk, talk, potty train or be “normal” I was determined that Cameron would be the best he could be. In spite of his “problems” I’ve always demanded a lot from him, and refused to treat him as a disorder in human form. And it worked. This 11 year old boy is loving, bright, articulate, and is very happy just being Cameron. Any issues related to autistic behaviors are discussed openly with him and clear expectations are set for his actions.

To others meeting Cam for the first time, they tell me they are aware within a short time, that he has some problems, but they are very surprised to see how well-adjusted and intelligent he is. Other than being undersized for his age and inappropriate reactions in certain settings, this child functions at the outer edges of the definition Special Needs. Our home is not “geared” in any way to say “watch out” Special Needs Child on board.


This article came about as a result of watching a program on autism and a neighbors child. In both cases, I saw a high functioning autistic literally dominate his home. The parents in both cases were no longer seeing their child as a human being, but as a motley assemblage of labels. There is no doubt in my mind that these families fell victim to negative expectations. Children will be exactly what your expectations tell them to be. If you expect your child to be whatever his label says, he will be just that.


Both boys were intensely aware of their surroundings, walk with “normal” gaits and showed ability to reason. Yet one parent has to carry her 11 year old to the couch every morning. The child is allowed to get angry, destroy furniture, defecate at will and run away. He has never ever been disciplined in any true sense of the word, because to them, he is a walking disorder. The other child is treated like spun glass. Yet when I spoke to him about staying out of my mailbox, he understood enough to go tell his mother.



We do a great disservice to these children by allowing labels to define their being. Every child, no matter how disabled, has the potential to rise above their limits. If we allow them to. If you have recently been told your own child has Special Needs, don’t allow the helping professionals to box this child into a slot. Help your child, fight for him if necessary, so that he can discover his own unique ways to fit into this world.