The positive difference a gym trainer makes when she emphasizes what is being done right rather than focusing on what's not right.

Lisa is a trainer at the gym where I work out with my daughter
Katie. I've observed that one of the other trainers in this all women
gym will sometimes come to Katie, me, any of the women and say,
"No. Hold the weights/ your wrist/ your elbows like this." And she'll
demonstrate. So far, so good. But when Lisa sees the same incorrect
positioning, she shows the correct movement and stays there until we
get it, and then we hear, "Yes! That's right! Perfect! Yes!"
With the other trainer, we are still shown the correct
placement of hands and feet, but with Lisa, we also got the strong
clear anthem of positive reinforcement. Her words ring out as I write
this. They are so accessible that I can pluck them from my memory
tree and savor the taste and smell of their fruit. Their juice drips down
my chin. I put them on a ledge where I see them as I work at my desk.
As my heart shrivels if I focus on past putdowns, so my spirit
becomes Superman and I can fly, self-propelled, when I remember to
wear the cloak of "Yes! You did it! Yes!"

Just as new ideas lose their just-harvested freshness after
they've been tucked into the mind's filing cabinet, so new habits lose
their momentum if not kept in motion. So I wonder how it would feel
to incorporate yes into my daily life. What would it feel like to say
"yes" (without a grimace) to laundry or filling the tank or weeding or
the other tasks that seem to have no finality, no date-of-completion?

Can I say "yes" a bit more quickly or at least less grudgingly when an
employee or employer makes a request? Might I be willing to say
"yes" to a child about playing ball together? Will I say "yes" to myself
about a leisurely soak in the tub or lovingly prepared Portobello
mushrooms or catfish with capers? I just tasted both of those for the
first time in the past few months-treats I will say "yes" to again!

What might you notice about the things you say "yes" and
"no" to? I'm not suggesting you say yes to every request of your time.
You deserve to have your boundaries honored and your needs met.
But if "yes!" will enliven you, make you stand taller, bring a smile to
your face, and foster a bond with people you care about, say "Yes!
Right on! Go for it! Yes!" And taste and smell and hear the joy of
expressing who and what you are. Yes!