I hope you never do this in your novels or screenplays. Profiling isn't right.

Profiling

1968 Bobby Kennedy was shot and killed by

a Superman

b. Jay Leno

c. Harry Potter

d. Muslim male extremist between the ages of 17 and 40

In 1972 at the Munich Olympics , athletes were kidnapped and massacred by

a. Olga Corbett

b. Sitting Bull

c. Arnold Schwarzenegger

d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

In 1979, the US embassy in Iran was taken over by:

a. Lost Norwegians

b. Elvis

c. A tour bus full of 80-year-old women

d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

During the 1980's a number of Americans were kidnapped in Lebanon by:

a. John Dillinger

b. The King of Sweden

c. The Boy Scouts

d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

In 1983, the US Marine barracks in Beirut was blown up by:

a. A pizza delivery boy

b. Pee Wee Herman

c. Geraldo Rivera

d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

In 1985 the cruise ship Achille Lauro was hijacked and a 70-year old American passenger was murdered and thrown overboard in his wheelchair by:

a. The Smurfs

b. Davy Jones

c. The Little Mermaid

d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

In 1985 TWA flight 847 was hijacked at Athens, and a US Navy diver
trying to rescue passengers was murdered by:

a Captain Kidd

b. Charles Lindberg

c. Mother Teresa

d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

In 1988, Pan Am Flight 103 was bombed by:

a. Scooby Doo

b. The Tooth Fairy

c. Butch Cassidy and The Sundance Kid

d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

In 1993 the World Trade Center was bombed for the first time by:

a. Richard Simmons

b. Grandma Moses

c Michael Jordan

d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

In 1998, the US embassies in Kenya and Tanzania were bombed by:

a. Mr. Rogers

b. Hillary Clinton, to distract attention from Wild Bill' s women problems

c. The World Wrestling Federation

d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

On 9/11/01, four airliners were hijacked; two were used as missiles
to take out the World Trade Centers and of the remaining two, one
crashed into the US Pentagon and the other was diverted and crashed by
the passengers. Thousands of people were killed by:

a. Bugs Bunny, Wiley E. Coyote, Daffy Duck and Elmer Fudd

b. The Supreme Court of Florida

c. Mr. Bean

d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

In 2002 the United States fought a war in Afghanistan against:

a. Enron

b. The Lutheran Church > c. The NFL

d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

In 2002 reporter Daniel Pearl was kidnapped and murdered by:

a. Bonnie and Clyde

b. Captain Kangaroo

c. Billy Graham

d. Muslim male extremist s mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

2004 - Spain Railway bombings were done by: Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

2005 London Railway bombings were done by: Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

AND NOW !

2006 plot to blowup airliners leaving London for US destinations. Who
has been implicated: Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

Nope, I really don't see a pattern here to justify profiling, do you?

So, to ensure we North Americans never offend anyone, particularly fanatics intent on killing us, airport security screeners will no longer be allowed to profile certain people. They must conduct random searches of 80 year-old women, little kids, airline pilots with proper identification, secret agents of the President's security detail. But leave Muslim males between the ages 17 and 40 alone because profiling is discriminatory and not nice.

As the writer of the award winning story " Forrest Gump" so aptly put
it, "Stupid is as stupid does"

In closing, I hope this taught everyone a lesson. I'm kidding of course, although there's nothing funny in this article. Just a lot of gross stupidity on the part of our Justice Department or whatever Band of Merry Nitwits is responsible.