A Beginner’s guide to Being a Grandparent
Wow just when you thought you had survived parenthood and finally got that empty nest with your new furniture, den, sports car etc. what happens but someone comes along and drops an eight to ten pound gurgling, giggling, piddling and screaming little person into your arms and says this is grandpa (substitute Grandma where appropriate). No, not me, this can’t be happening and I’m too young, are no doubt some of the first thoughts that had raced through your mind when you were first told but now with her or his little fingers wrapped around yours and he or she seems to be looking directly at you with those big bright eyes you know you are doomed, you have bought into the whole grandparent deal hook, line and sinker.
The first true signs that you are a grandparent are when the purchases you start making for the new baby is almost equivalent to your mortgage payment and some of the other signs are:
- You buy those cute t-shirts with sayings like proud Grandpa, Grandpa’s little angel, ask grandma
- If you start looking for a car it has to be a four door with a big trunk, a station wagon or a mini-van
- A digital camera and or video cam is a necessity
- You have all your furniture re-Scotch-guarded put away all breakable family heirlooms
- Safety gates start appearing all around your house
- Cabinets become child proof which usually mean you can’t figure out how to open either
- Your living room fills with toys and looks like a neighbour hood daycare centre within six months of babies birth
- A playpen, crib or cradle becomes a permanent fixture in your bedroom though you cannot figure out why cause at the merest whimper your visiting grandchild ends up snuggled in a warm cosy nest between you and grandma
- Your social calendar is only open on weekdays
- Your favourite shirts are all permanently stained in various bright food colours such as baby food orange, strawberry reds, grape juice purple and that other colour you are not quite sure what it is and are probably better off not knowing
- Your back becomes curvy with leaning over to hold little fingers as they try to walk
- Wet wipes, Vaseline, and disposable diapers are a now filling your bedside table
- When you go to your wardrobe you find that at least one drawer is now filled with extra baby clothes
- Telephone calls are an interesting blend of baby talk and grandparents trying to talk baby-talk
- You spend a lot of time changing diapers or trying to time it so someone else will be there and you won’t when that time arrives
- You spend a lot of time sitting on the side of the bath watching little people grunt and poop
- When you have more then one grandchild by different children you become very diplomatic at trying to be fair and equal and respecting both sets of parents child raising wishes (then do it your way once they are out the door)
Ok, so those are some of the signs that finally help you realize that yes you are a grandpa or grandma. Now before you end up moving to Siberia to avoid the entire above let me shed some more light on why you shouldn’t. Here are only a few of the reasons:
· The first time you are called because the parents are a little unsure of the babies breathing, rash, bowel movement or lack of one etc because you know they think you know all the secrets to parenting
· The first time you have the baby actually fall asleep in cradled in your arms feeding him or her a bottle
· The first time he or she looks at you and gurgles
· The first time you have he or she overnight and you get to just stare at them sleeping in between you and your other half like the living angels they are
· The first time you try to feed them and they end up with food everywhere except in their mouths
· The first time because of their lousy table manners you need to give them a bath and watch the fun they have swimming in the tub
· The way they smell after their bath when they are all shampooed and powdered and so sweet you don’t want to let them go
· When they hold your finger to take those first little walks around the house and the first actual steps even though it is more falling forward then walking
· Hearing them say nana or poppa for the very first time
· Showing the expressions on their little faces as you show them how to slide down a slide, swing on a swing
· Spending hours it seems watching Barney, Sesame Street, Baby Einstein and other boring tapes just so you get to have them curled up on your lap
· Being there for their birth, their christening, their first birthday, their first Christmas, doctors appointments and just taking them to familiar places hoping to run into people you know so you can show them off and brag for a while
· Getting a phone call saying Dad or Mom the baby has been calling for you all morning can you come and visit her
· Having a wallet full of pictures and just waiting for someone…anyone to give you an excuse to drag them out and show them
· Spending every chance you can with them knowing as your own days run down and your age advances they are part of your legacy to the world
I could go on and fill a book with all the other reasons why it is great to be a grandparent but we grandparents already know that. I heard it so many times that I hate to hear it again but I am going to say it here so I can actually tell you then what it should read.
“The greatest thing about being a grandparent is you can spoil them all you want then send them home to their parents.”
Now the real saying and the real truth is:
“Grandparents spoil their grandchildren because they don’t want them to go home and if they have to go they want their babies to love being with them so much that they will drive their parents’ nuts to go to Nana and Boppa’s house again!”
this impressive Important knowledge- I love your ending......Sweeeeeeeeeet... Just like you are~