Thoughts
Attempting to write and get things into prospective can be a hazard to ones mind. Upon writing these memos of the events of a life time take many avenues and side streets. So I will continue down this road and venture the unknown...making it the known. Then with repetition I will know my way. This will not be an easy task, but with determination one will overcome the hurdles. Crawling, sliding, and sweating one does eventually slam into home base. The struggle may be long or it may be beyond ones reach...which indicates that one or the other does not care or that the chemistry to cause ignition is not there. It is not whether or not the chemistry plays a part, but it is how the psyche will react to the circumstances which it is presented.
One can not always do or get what one pleasures at the precise moment that they wish to, so they blame the other person for not meeting their particular needs. Screaming...yelling...telling the other person, "Here's how you feel and this is how and why you are feeling this way!" Meanwhile the other person takes a few steps backwards thinking..."This is not how I am...you have attempted to make me into whatever kind of person YOU want me to be...You don't know ME at all! YOU can't take the blame for your own actions, let alone your decaying thoughts of the world around YOU."
Love is not in your heart, let alone and most definitely anywhere among the few brain cells that have survived the tremendous drenching of extra chemicals thus induced upon them. Your love is animalistic in that it plays a primary, and of course an unfeeling role. It is not consistent nor true to being real...since after being with one person you go to another and declare your love for them.
We are not here to serve one another but to compliment each other, each needing their own breathing space and freedom to be ones self. If one hinders the others space or freedom, the other begins to get smothered and shrivels into an unknown entity. The other then instilling or trying to instill their thoughts into the weakened entity. BUT, one does not always weaken as planned...leaving the other to anger and to attempt different means of trying to control. When this is unsuccessful this is when the screaming and yelling begin. A war/struggle begins...one wants to talk - the other wants to control...which leads to a stale mate.
Love not lust will always be there no matter what stands in the way. It is better to free the one you love than to have them suffocate you. If the one you love can't see who you really are, it is their loss, and if you can't see how they want to control you, you're as empty as they are either that or the under toad took you too far out. So pull out that thorn in your side. Now sing your sweet beautiful song and fly away to free you both. Time will heal, yet time will bring you both together if you really want it to...even if it's a millennium.
(C) Copyright ~ELIZA AllRights Reserved
