Fanatical religionist wakes up.

A Lonely Man, A Very Lonely Man.

A long time ago, I was in the position of knowing all there was to know about religion - - - all of the ways of God. That is what I had been taught - after all, the preacher had thundered this at me for far too long for me not to have known this to be the ultimate truth.

Yes, this I believed. It was indeed a strange position in which I found myself.

I was not quite the fanatic I should have been. All of those who did not believe as I did should have been put to death because I loved them too much to let them live in sin. This I could not quite accept.

Almost.

But not Quite.

I could not fully accept the preacher. As a result, I was still sinful. I was a sinner. I was condemned to hell.

I was alone, but did not realize it. I knew this was what God wanted me to be. Therefor, I KNEW I should be the perfect example of goodness and truth . . . and that all others were in error and sin and were thereby condemned to hell for not being as was I.

This was a glaring contradiction . . . Me being the epitome of goodness and also being a sinner. I knew I should kill all sinners because I loved them too much to allow them to remain in sin. Therefor, I should kill myself as well as you. I couldn't do this for I was so good - and I was a sinner.

Aaaarrrghhhhh!

The end result of this type of misguided thinking would be the loss of the entire population of the world except for maybe ME because only I knew all truth. I knew all truth. The ‘preacher' told me so.

A more lonely life I could not imagine. I did not want to imagine it.

Carried to its logical conclusion, this ideology would have resulted in my elimination of sin by the only way at hand - killing sinners; removing all wrong doers; leaving only the glory of God.

For I alone knew the truth. I alone would be the only one left alive after all sinners were removed. I would be alone with the truth of God. I and the preacher!

I would be alone.

I would be very alone.

I don't think I would want to face GOD under these circumstances.

GOD gave me the ability to think, to rationalize, to know. GOD gave me the ability to understand and accept truth and enlightenment when it comes.

GOD gave me all this from within, not from the preacher.

As for knowing the Truth, there is so much more Truth available than any mere fanatic such as I had been nor what the 'Preacher' could ever understand.

Fanaticism is its own worst enemy. Regretfully it destroys far too many innocent people before it falls from its own inner corruption. Thankfully, fanaticism does eventually end.