Interview with Maureen Stearns, author and Irene Watson, managing editor of Reader Views, a book review service.
Irene: Your book “Conscious Courage ®” gives a step-by-step journey for the reader to figure out how they identify the hurdles in their life and how those challenges can be
turned into opportunities to improve. What inspired you to write this book?
Maureen: My book started off as a thesis for my master’s degree. I had to develop
something called an “I project.” This project was to be a reflection of something I felt very deeply about. It went through countless revisions, while I pondered countless hours, determined to write about universal truths and challenges.
Irene: Tell us more about what the book is meant to accomplish.
Maureen: Besides a writer, I am also a teacher. I love to teach others about something that I think is important, that which can be life changing. The concept of conscious courage -- what it means, how to discover it in oneself -- is what I want to teach others through my book.
Irene: You place importance on discovering oneself. Why is it so important to know who we are?
Maureen: There are many reasons why it is important to discover oneself. For instance - if someone has a good understanding of who they are, then they're able to focus on helping others instead of being preoccupied with themselves, such as looking good, being noticed or treated fairly. And the more self understanding a person has, the more easily they can separate the 'what isn't' from the 'what is.' An example of this is when someone is able to easily dismiss another's inappropriate comment without it ever becoming a blow to the ego rather than feeling the need to ruminate excessively, the validity of the comment.
Irene: You have coined the term “conscious courage.” What goals do you have for Conscious Courage®?
Maureen: My goal is for many people to know about, understand, and apply the
concept in their lives. I do not think today that people are very happy with how they’re living their lives, or the way others choose to live their lives. Additionally, I feel that our government officials are lacking in Conscious Courage®. Over the years, there has been a paradigm shift in our country, but the shift has not been good. Books like mine are meant to help make a positive paradigm shift.
Irene: When you say “paradigm shift” – what do you mean?
Maureen: A belief held by a group of people or society that changes.
Irene: What does “conscious courage” really mean?
Maureen: Conscious courage® means for one to be aware, that within themselves
lies a most important personal power source that needs to be developed for as long as they are alive. And if they do so, life changes for them for the better. BUT even though having conscious courage® is necessary, it’s not necessarily easy to implement ... but it is not supposed to be. People stop too short when there is discomfort in thinking correctly or doing the right thing. For some people, having a conscious courage mindset is just common sense but for others, they may need to learn it through trial and
error. Some people need to be given specific instructions, just like when they are
instructed how to multiply and divide.
Irene: I would assume most of us short too short because of the fear of the unknown. What are your suggestions for breaking through this fear and going forward consciously?
Maureen: First, by becoming aware that fear is an emotion that is created by our thoughts, and we each have the power to consciously change how we think which in turn changes how we act. A person does, though, need to be willing to challenge and/or ignore some of the irrational 'babble' or negative self-talk that will no doubt spew forth when starting a new personal adventure.
Irene: How much of your own experience or challenges have you put into the
steps? Which ones and why?
Maureen: Besides writing Conscious Courage® for other people, I also wrote it for myself. Each page has something that was a personal experience sometime in my life. There’s a part in the beginning of the book, titled “My Story.” That section describes the agony I went through before the final dissolution of my marriage. Even though divorce is common, each person’s story is unique. Some people weather the divorce experience well, but for me during that time, I was at the lowest point in my life, but ironically that is when I grew the most.
Irene: One of the exercises stems around “Resist feeling guilty about something when you didn’t earn the guilt.” Tell us why we take on guilt even if it isn’t ours to take on.
Maureen: I think that people think the more guilt they harbor, the more eligible they are to be forgiven, whether it is forgiveness bestowed from themselves or from others. Sort of like they need to suffer to a certain amount in order to be forgiven. The problem with this kind of thinking is that excessive guilt wastes time, is unproductive, takes time away from getting on the right track. And those who exhibit excessive guilt, doesn’t mean
they are genuinely more sorry than someone who doesn’t over apologize. People are good at knowing what others want to hear from them.
Irene: How do you suggest we prevent ourselves from feeling this way?
Maureen: When we apologize, but still feel something doesn’t ‘feel right,’ that doesn’t mean we have to act on those feelings, such as continuing to feel guilty when the issue is over. That’s our subconscious talking, not always a reliable source to listen to. Oftentimes we need only to acknowledge our feelings, but then not act on them.
Irene: In your book you state that fear is part of life and produces discomfort. I can’t help but agree with you, however, you also claim that “discomfort is often a good thing is disguise.” When we are in the middle of the fear and discomfort, it is difficult to come to terms that it may be a good thing. Please tell us how it could be such a good thing.
Maureen: That’s the hard part to understand and to work through, that fear and discomfort can be a good thing. People are conditioned to run the other way when there is fear and discomfort involved. As a past panic attack sufferer, I came to realize that when I allowed the panic to rush over me, that the panic wasn’t quite as bad as I thought it would be. It was the fearing of it, that compounded the emotions I felt. So I realized, that
if I could isolate the fear, kind of put it in my back pocket and move forward, I was able to manage the emotions easier. When my mindset changed, the outcome and emotions changed, for the better.
Irene: One of our greatest fears is to speak in front of others. You suggest
we PUSH ourselves to stand up despite the nervousness. That’s a pretty heavy
load to take when combined with the fear that we will open our mouth and nothing will come out. How can we overcome this fear?
Maureen: I think fear needs to be processed; by that I mean, worked through, until the fear lessens and breaks up. But for some that doesn’t necessarily happen in that way -- for it to completely disappear -- but rather for some the goal is for the fear to become manageable and then not a real issue. Why do people climb Mt. Everest, risking their lives to do so? They strive to conquer their fear and they want to be challenged, just to experience the outcome, something they need to know. The feeling of euphoria has to be
intense, when they do succeed for they tap into a part of their being they never felt before. We need to conquer “Mt. Everest” everyday with every day situations. Too few people know just what it is like to experience the wonderful feeling after reaching the other side of their mountain. My book teaches this.
Irene: Would you give us a glimpse of that wonderful feeling would be like?
Maureen: The feeling is like winning a race or contest, but it is against yourself. A feeling of relief is mixed in too, knowing you survived the experience and your gut feeling now tells you that you will continue to do so.
Irene: Thank you Maureen for sharing your book and concept of going through life with conscious courage. Is there anything else you would like the readers to know about your or your book?
Maureen:
Dear Readers,
When you choose to live life with Conscious Courage®, there are many wonderful things in store for you! Please visit my website. I would love to hear from you!
www.Consciouscourage.com
