Retired seven years, widowed six years, childless, seventy-three years old, depressed, the author set out to find contentment through reflection and writing. This book is a series of personal essays recounting that quest and some of the experiences that came before it. Ms. Styne advocates writing for everyone, and hopes to encourage people of all ages, especially her fellow senior citizens, to write.

Today, Reader Views is talking with Marlys Marshall Styne, author of “Reinventing Myself: Memoirs of a Retired Professor.” Marlys is being interviewed by Juanita Watson, Assistant Editor of Reader Views.

Juanita:  Thank you for talking with us today, Marlys.  Please tell your readers what your book, “Reinventing Myself: Memoirs of a Retired Professor,” is about.

Marlys: My book is about finding myself retired, widowed, childless, old, and depressed, and setting out to find contentment, mainly through writing. It’s also about encouraging other seniors to write.

Juanita:  What inspired you to write your book?

Marlys:I’ve always been a reader who wanted to write. When my mother, Violet Marshall Funston, wrote and informally distributed her autobiography, My First
Eight-six Years: a Midwestern Life, in 1997, I saw how much she enjoyed seeing her work in print and talking to people about it. She still hands out copies to the staff at her nursing home occasionally, although she’s not able to write or discuss the book any longer.

Juanita:  What are some of the topics you write about in “Reinventing Myself”?

Marlys: I write about my family background, my long college teaching career, my travels to all seven continents, a few events from my life, my cats, and my struggle to come to terms with aging, retirement, widowhood, and depression. The first parts of the book include a few essays I wrote during my long college teaching career, even the commencement address I gave in 1996; other parts emphasize my efforts to become a writer and to encourage others to write.

Juanita:  Do you have any favorite pieces from your book?

Marlys:  I think my favorites are “Anne Hathaway’s Cottage,” “Lunch with a View,” and “Jack Daniels and the Old Town Pump.” Each shows how a simple object or sight such as a needlepoint picture, a city view from the 95th floor, or even an advertisement can take on special meaning and lead to dreams, insights, and memories.

Juanita:  Which essay or writing did you find the most eye-opening for yourself?

Marlys:“A Portrait of My Father” was probably the most eye-opening. My father died more than thirty years ago, yet I’d never tried to figure out why he was the way he was. To this day, my brother and I have conflicting pictures of him. It was disturbing to realize how little I’d understood him and how much like him I really am. If a tendency toward depression is hereditary, my father and I are prime examples.

Juanita:  What beliefs about yourself and life did you need to change in order to reinvent yourself?

Marlys: I had to stop believing that my life was over, that without my late husband, I couldn’t have a contented life. I had to face my lifelong clinical depression and not let it defeat me.

Juanita: Marlys, do you think your writings and the topics you re-visited helped you not only reinvent yourself, but re-discover meaning in your life?

Marlys: Writing about my teaching career, my accomplishments, my travels, and many happy moments of my life did, indeed, help me remember that my life has been a meaningful one. Those memories have helped me discover that despite some flaws and limitations, I still have something to offer the world. If I can encourage others to write about their own experiences for themselves and their families, I will find additional meaning in my own life.

Juanita:Tell us a bit about the downward spiral of loneliness and depression that you found yourself in and what was the defining moment where you began to change that all around?

Marlys: The downward spiral began when I found out in late 1999, just a few months after I’d retired, that my husband would soon die of pancreatic cancer. I found it very hard to imagine life without him. I eventually recovered enough energy to sell our house, move to a very nice condo, and travel, but in general, my life was spiraling downward. I think the defining moment when I hit bottom and decided to do something came in late December, 2005, when I returned from a pleasant holiday visit with relatives in Texas to an empty condo. My beloved old cat had died in an animal hospital while I was away, so I had another reason to be depressed. The next day I searched the Internet for local writing classes. I found StoryStudio Chicago and enrolled in LifeWriting for January and February. I started writing and sharing with other writers, younger than myself, but talented and interesting. I was on my way.

Juanita: Do you think this depression is a common place that retirees find themselves in during this pivotal stage of life?

Marlys: I’m not sure. From what I’ve read, depression is fairly common among retirees, but I am not acquainted with enough people my age to be certain. The few I do know have children, grandchildren, and even great-grandchildren, or are friendly and outgoing enough to avoid many of the feelings I had. I admit that I’ve always been a loner.

Juanita: You are an earnest advocate of writing.  How can the act of writing impact one’s life so strongly?

Marlys: For me, putting words on paper helps to clarify things. I may not realize why I feel as I do until I see an experience in words. Then I have always enjoyed seeing my name in print, even if I have written something as mundane as a letter to the editor or a brief comment in a scholarly magazine or a newspaper. I remember being thrilled to see my first byline on an interview for my college newspaper in the 1950’s, even though it was a struggle to overcome my shyness enough to talk to the interviewee. Writing may not be the answer for everyone, but it is probably the easiest form of creative self-expression because it requires only a notebook, a pen, and an active mind.

Juanita: You taught both literature and writing for over forty years.  Why did you wait so long to write your own book?

Marlys: I always wanted to write, but I did not have enough courage or confidence to try. I threw myself into my career. Also, my inferiority complex kicked in: when I read something wonderful, I tended to say, “I can’t write that well,” so I’d avoid trying. Teaching and grading papers and chairing an academic department and serving on committees can take up all of one’s time. Perhaps keeping so busy was one way of making up for the children I was not able to have.

Juanita:  How and when did you begin writing “Reinventing Myself”?

Marlys: I began in earnest in January of this year, 2006. Several of the essays were written before that, but I didn’t start writing regularly and organizing things until then. The LifeWriting workshop at StoryStudio Chicago kept me focused on writing, and since I had plenty of free time, I just kept writing, revising, and revising again. Since I’m a computer enthusiast, I also enjoyed formatting my own book and submitting it as a PDF file. I should add that computer skills are wonderful, but not necessary for a writer. Lack of computer knowledge should not scare anyone away.

Juanita: I know writing is a big part of your life now.  What other things are you doing now to stay active and inspired?

Marlys: One of the more interesting things I’m doing is volunteering at the Chicago Cultural Center. I’ve just begun, but I have worked at one of the information desks, proving to myself that I can communicate with strangers. I’ll be staffing an information booth at Taste of Chicago soon as well, and I expect to usher at some concerts and other programs. The director of volunteers, a writer herself, introduced me to the Illinois Woman’s Press Association, and I was able to sell a few books at their booth at the Printers Row Book Fair recently. More importantly, I have met many writers and other volunteers, so I have people to talk to. I think I am becoming more friendly and smiling more. I’ve also reestablished contact with quite a few old friends who are interested in my book.

Juanita:  How important do you feel it is to be aware and plan for your retirement?

Marlys:It’s very important. However, most planning advice I’ve read seems to be about money. I planned well in that area. I’m not sure that there is enough advice about planning for the possibility of being left alone, although that obviously happens very often. Perhaps those with children and grandchildren or large families don’t face all the same issues I did, but I’m sure I’m not the only one left mentally unprepared.

Juanita: Now that you have passed this critical time in your life, what would your advice be to others going through the same experience, or preparing for being alone?

Marlys:I would warn others never to depend on a job and/or a relationship to solve all their problems. We must make the best of what we have, but remember that not much lasts forever. Reaching out to others and following our dreams can provide a cushion against a hard fall.

Juanita:  Marlys, who do you think would enjoy reading your book?

Marlys: I think any woman over fifty who is beginning to think about aging and retirement would enjoy reading it, as would retired people in general. I think it would be a good book for people living in senior communities to read and discuss, and I hope it leads to more informal writing workshops for seniors. Maybe my book could serve as an example or textbook for such workshops. Perhaps younger people will be interested in my book as a gift for their parents or older friends and relatives.

Juanita:  What did you ultimately want to convey to your readers through “Reinventing Myself”?

Marlys: I guess my message is, Get out of that recliner, or at least sit there with a journal and pen in hand. Writing is not mainly about perfect grammar, spelling, or sentence structure. No matter what your limitations or handicaps, there is always something you can do, whether in writing or some other activity. The world is full of possibilities, even for seniors. Emphasize not unattainable perfection, fame, or fortune, but self-satisfaction through creative effort.

Juanita:  How can readers find out more about you and your endeavors? 

Marlys:  I have an author profile at www.authorsmarketinggroup.org/Authors/Marlys.htm and biographical information at both www.buybooksontheweb.com and www.amazon.com   I welcome e-mail communications from readers.

Juanita:  Thank you for talking with us today, Marlys.  We wish you all the best with “Reinventing Myself” and your continued journey through life.  Do you have any last thoughts for your readers?

Marlys: Most of us who live into old age will suffer losses and disappointments, but by learning from and sharing the past, concentrating on our abilities and our dreams, and reaching out to others, we can enjoy these “golden years.”