Seniors, when moving around to new residences, or when a partner passes, sometimes they have to find new friends. When in school it was easier. There they were in the same classroom or sports team. At work they were in the next cubicle or assembly line or work bench, or in the break room.

As people approach the later-in-life days, the days of youthful exploration, when life felt like one big blind date, are fading. Schedules compress or become nonexistent, priorities change and people often become pickier in what they want in their friends. Pickier, that is fussier, choosier, very careful or too careful about choosing or accepting things, or, hard to please. As external conditions change, it becomes tougher to meet the three conditions experts have considered crucial to making close friends: closeness; repeated, unplanned interactions; and a setting that them to let their guard down and confide in each other.

How and why? Well the ‘why’ is pretty easy to determine. Friendship is a friendly feeling or attitude, kindness or help given to someone. We all need some of that. But ‘how’, that’s the thorn on the rose bush … a tricky, sticky subject with many twists and turns.

Associating with people with common interests as yours is one way to find friends. Join clubs or meet people with the same hobby or collection of artifacts, such as kites or sea shells. If you can’t find a group, then form a group with common interests. Or join a weekly card game, but beware of this source. If you are too good a card player you may create enemies and not friends. Bowling and golf go along the same line as cards, but you can have fun and then be bad when you must to keep your new friends. And remember, some people like winners and others like losers. This is a go as you play determination you must make. Whatever the situation is, always say nice things and make an effort to smile. And when you meet friends, make friends with their friends. It adds to the mix.

And a good place to mix is one of the local sports bar or grill and bar. They always have a group of people doing what you are doing … looking for friends. And if you are into sports you will fit right in. You just have to put a curb on the drinking so again you don’t create enemies instead of friends. A health club is another good mingling place with people with the same interest as you, getting fit or losing weight. And speaking of health, remember the best vitamin for making friends is B1. Dali Lama has something to say about that: “Old friends pass away, new friends appear. It is just like the days. An old day passes, a new day arrives. The important thing is to make it meaningful: a meaningful friend - or a meaningful day.”