Anyone thinking "Wow, Ian's busy - he must be up to something, would be right.
I'm chasing my 100,000 and am a few thousand short after slacking all through the summer. This post is well funny BTW.

Bonfire Night Bummer

The quoted story comes from Associated Press via Sage Sweetwater, authorsden colleague, poet, novelist, firebrand lesbian and pagan free spirit. If nothing esle it proves the English can be assholes to their arseholes.

"LONDON, Nov. 6 - A 22-year-old man suffered internal injuries after lighting a small firecracker he had inserted into his buttocks, paramedics said Thursday. The incident took place Sunday, when Britain celebrated Bonfire Night, traditionally marked with fireworks to celebrate the Guy Fawkes' gunpowder plot to blow up Parliament in the 17th century.

The man suffered burns and other unspecified internal injuries in the incident in Sunderland, 275 miles north of London.

Katherine Shenton, a spokeswoman for the North East Ambulance Service, said a caller had phoned in that the victim was bleeding after the firecracker exploded.

Several of the man's friends recorded the incident on a mobile phone. The blurry images show a man bent over with his pants down and a white flash as the firecracker explodes.

The Times newspaper reported the man is a soldier who recently returned from Iraq."

Obviously someone told the guy he needed a rocket up his arse and he took the message a tad too literally but picked up the wrong firework.

It reminds me of a story I heard while working near the Aldershot, headquarters of the British Army. This concerned a very macho version of fart - lighting that soldiers liked to play. They would take a lighted taper, grip it between the cheeks of their arse and then try to fart strongly enough to blow out the flame. Methane is highly combustible so if the fart was not strong enough the soldier ended up with a bottom hole full of cold cream.

Ah well, its all part of life's rich tapestry I guess.