Remember The A Team? Well it look as if there is a way they may be able to get justice at last.

Who remembers The A Team, those four Vietnam war vets who as victims of official malfeasance were condemned to wander the nineteen – eighties fighting for truth, justice and Mom’s Apple Pie wherever the dark forces of communism, tyranny and bad scriptwriting reared their ugly heads.

The ‘A’ Team fondly believed that if they saved enough "little people" from the oppression of the rich and powerful they would win an official pardon. And so these soldiers of fortune roamed the land seeking out local tyrants who, in their impatience to build a new chemical factory had hired gangs of armed thugs to drive out the gentle and sweet natured owners of, usually, a sanctuary for small, furry animals.

In such situations The ‘A’ Team would arrive, quickly assess the situation and then use their welding gear* to construct a formidable fighting vehicle from a pile of old junk. This vehicle, armed with cannon capable of firing heavy calibre vegetables and pumps to spay jets of high pressure agricultural slurry would subject the villains to a barrage of cabbages from its Rocket Propelled Cabbage launchers, thus routing them and spraying them with stinky liquefied shit as they retreated. After saving the small furry animals and their protectors The ‘A’ Team would learn again that their petition for a pardon had been denied and they would flee in the most conspicuous van ever to take the road (this thing stood out more than a forty - tonner truck at a Bubble Car rally) to evade capture as their continued their campaign to clear their names.

(*Note to would be fighters for truth, justice and Mom’s Apple Pie – you will need to carry with you at all times, welding gear, eye protection and safety gloves.)

A news reports last week featured the U.S. Military depot at Red River, Texas, where the wreckage hundreds of Humvee armoured transports wrecked by the Iraqi resistance are stored.

The cost of the war has now stretched U.S. military budgets so far there is talk of bodging up these mangled hulks and sending them back into the fray. How American parents will feel about their kids patrolling the mean streets of downtown Baghdad in a "cut and shut" (the front half of one wreck and the rear of another, welded together) is anybody’s guess.

Undercover reporters for Boggart Media’s new global news service BNN (Boggart Network News) have been on the case though and found that public relations consultants advised the White House the idea would be easier to sell if American heroes could be involved in some way.

In response to this, President Bush has promised The ‘A’ Team an unconditional pardon if they can restore half Red River’s wrecks to running order.