Would any of us have thought just a few short weeks ago when Sarah Palin became John McCain's surprise choice of Vice Presidential running mate that we were witnessing the start of what may well become the most spectacular political success story since Genghis Khan.

Evidence emerging from the VeePeeNominee's hacked e-mail account suggests that her rise from Pit-bull kissing Moose wrestling small town mayor to possibly being a heartbeat away from the big chair in The Oval Office is the result of a carefully prepared and executed masterplan.

The latest details to emerge from "private" e-mails stolen by hackers asre alleged to reveal that Governor Palin had a sun bed installed in the Gubernatorial mansion up in the chilly chilly land of the Polar Bear.

Sunbeds are known to be a major cause of skin cancer if they are not used carefully. Palin's boss John McCain as serious health worries relating to skin cancer. OK you all think you know where this post is going; stick with me I may yet surprise you.

Rumours have been rife for several months that the Republicans have up their sleeve an "October Surprise" that will totally derail Barak Obama and leave the Democratic Party no time to reorganise. What the Boggart Network News investigative reporting team political team have now discovered is that Sarah Palin has her own "November Surprise" once she and McCain have been elected.

Our informer inside the Palin campaign office tells us the plan will be to invite Johnny Mac. up to Alaska for a celebratory weekend of prayer and Moose shooting (you can't really call it hunting; moose are even more short sighted than John McCain, a sneaky hunter can walk right up and stick his gun up their noses,) then while the President elect is standing around dazzled by snow, blinking myopically and doing his renowned impression of Mr. Magoo the three principal males of the Palin family, Tank, Lard and Bubba will throw a tarp over the old guy bundle him into a pickup truck and drive him away to a secret location, posibly a cave under the Palin mansion.

Later back at the bear pit poor little Johnny will find himself strapped to the gubernatorial de-luxe high power sunbed. The room will reverberate with manic laughter as a gloved hand (have you ever noticed in thse scenarios the hand is always gloved) reaches out and turns the UV intensity up to eleven. They normally only go up to ten but this Palin's official sunbed has been specially customised to enable references to iconic comedy films.

Poor Magoo, I mean McCain, will quickly feel his skin become cancerous under the UV glare and will quickly expire with the image of Palin grinning like a Pit Bull stamped on his mind. Thus in January it will be Grizzly Palin who steps up to the Presidential podium to receive the Presidential seal and become first female President and Chief Hockey Mom.

But who could be behind such a fiendish plot. Well now here comes the twist.

While this whole Presidential farrago has been playing out another thread was being spun, quietly, out of the public eye. A couple of years ago those with good memories may recall, the world's two richest men, Bill Gates and Warren Buffett pledged huge sums to a charitable foundation they had set up. It was never really clear what this charity aimed to do though vague promises about helping the poor were made. Around the same time a Californian Aeronautics engineer named Bigelow revealed a design for an inflatable plastic space station which could orbit the earth provinding a safe, sustainable environment for thousands of people.

Mrs. Palin and Mr Bigelow are clearly part of a much bigger conspiracy to launch a fleet of space stations on which the mega rich elite can buy a safe haven while a crazed fundamentalist U.S. President and a stereotypical Bond villain who operates from a cave complex in The Hindu Kush (headquarters in caves or alternatively empty magma chambers of extinct volcanoes are de rigeur for world domnation freaks)  kick off WWIII, turning the earth and all its pollution, failed finance houses and unsupportable population into a cinder. Palin of course has been sold this plan as The Rapture.

Remember as you stick brown paper on your windows and hunker down under the table, following government advice to a letter in preparation for the first missile strike, you read it here first.