Did you step back in horror when you read that. "Churches for people who don't believe in God, I thought that was The church Of England's job" you might well have exclaimed. And yet The First Church Of Christ The Non Believer (they're not really called that) is one of the fastest growing religions in North America. And before you get the idea that an atheist church is just what we need to help put an end to irrational beliefs, let me tell you these people are crazier than Christian or Islamic fundamentalists. In it's recruiting spiel the Atheist Church Of Canada states, "Atheists believe that life is logical."

Anybody who believes life is logical is either stark raving bonkers or has not been living on this planet. Just spend a bit of time browsing through Boggart Blog's back catalogue to understand how stupid a person would have to be to believe life is logical. Life is insane.

Over in the USA the urge to turn everything into a religion (even atheism as you have seen) is leading to all sorts of strange behaviour. Christians are afraid to wish people Merry Christmas because they have been told by evangelical atheists it will cause offence.

Well as far as I know nobody has yet been shot for wishing somebody Merry Christmas and they shoot each other for anything over there, but what a sad state of affairs when these atheists (who are not really non believers as, being strictly logical, you have to accept there is a God in order to not believe in him,) feel they have to be offended on behalf of others who simply can't be arsed.

But enough of the kind of atheists who on being wished Merry Christmas are wont to reply, "Don't try to include me in your irrational, superstitious beliefs motherfucker," what about the atheists who are challenging Christmas traditions like Santa with their own Atheistmas celebrations. The Atheist Santa who is in some places competing with traditional Santa and equal rights Santa? The Friendly Atheist website does not have a problem with Santa in fact they think children growing out of belief in Sana is good training for growing out of the belief in God. Which might be a very good point, I can't remember having ever really believed in God so I'm not the right person to comment.

I do remember asking thinks like "Was Jesus really born in a stable?" and being told it was all just stories however. And that is why I have no problem with Santa but do have a problem with those whingeing, self righteoust idiots who call themselves Skeptics you know like the crappiest Pagans insist on spelling magic 'magick' coz the letter k is so kewl. Can you imagine how much poorer the world would be without King Arthur or Robin hood, with no Greek myth nor Grimms fairy tales, with all folklore and legend, fiction and fantasy abolished to please a bunch of dull minded sad acts who need to go to a non-God church to affirm their belief that life is logical?

Meanwhile as if Santa was not in enough trouble with politically correct types and atheists, there is a row brewing over who owns him. It is not a case of Microsoft trying to patent Santa as they tried to patent the alphabet a few years ago, the row is over the origins of this pot bellied, chimney mountaineer. Rows over whether Father Christmas is Russia, German, Czech, Swedish or Norwegian have gone on for years. This year however things look much more dangerous as, fresh from their failures to resolve disputes in Syria, Mali, Yemen, Egypt and Iraq, the United Nations have involved themselves.

A German heritage organisation has applied for Father Christmas, in his specifically German form, to be added to the official Unesco list of 250 items that make up the “Intangible Cultural Heritage” of Germany.

Backed by an annual budget of $8 million, the UNESCO intangible heritage list recognises cultural traditions that are at risk of disappearing (due to atheists being offended by them?), or are only important to certain sub cultures.

A few traditions recently included on the list give us a sense of what it is about: the Paach corn veneration ritual celebrated in Guatemala; the Empaako child-naming system practised by the Batooro, Banyoro, Batuku, Batagwenda and Banyabindi tribes of west Uganda; and the “Mediterranean diet” of Portugal, Italy, Spain, Greece and Morocco (surely more tangible than intangible).

So where does Santa fit in? He is after all pretty global. And ecuminical. Perhaps in Germany instead of leaving him a nip of brandy and a mince pie (no wonder he's pot bellied, the old soak) they leave him a sausage and a glass of Schnapps? It's only a matter of time before the health fascists start kicking off about his lifestyle as they are currently pontification about the unhealthy lifestyles of other people who aren't real.

We say hands off Santa, he is not Christian or atheist, he's pagan, and if he likes bandy and mince pies when in Britain but sausages and Schnapps in Germany it's his business or a vodka martini when he meets James Bond in Never Never Land it's his business.