The reality of a woman's intuition brings us to the fact that it is a "force" with which to be reckoned.

The reality of a woman's intuition brings us to the fact that it is a "force" with which to be reckoned. Men, being logical and mechanical in their creation, approach decisions from a highly practical methodology in which all the pros, cons and variables have been considered. But, when he puts forth an answer to his wife, he may find his idea crushed into the dust of the earth by the words that unfold in the following pattern.

He opens with a litany of the details and concludes his remarks with, "That's my reasons for feeling we should go ahead with this purchase" to which she replies, "I don't think we ought to do that." He responds with a brief review of why he thinks they should proceed only to be "shot down" with, "No, I really don't think we should do that." He then proceeds to ask her why she feels the way she does to which she replies, "I don't know why I'm uncomfortable with this; I just don't feel good about it." An argument often ensues because neither can effectively bridge the gap of her inability to explain her opposition and hurt, frustration and self-pity often follows. The actual problem that has unfolded is yet another one of our male-female differences for which we had little or no training prior to marriage. The good news is that a little understanding goes a long way to overcoming this communication block.

Treated as an explainable and frustrating phenomenon, a woman's intuition is actually a dynamic entity that is vital to a marriage for a variety of reasons. The only problem is that we don't understand what's happening, much less how to align our thinking. Understanding begins with a review as to the fact that, as men are logical and mechanical creatures by design, they have a remarkable capacity to define the particulars of any decision. As we mentioned earlier, they are able to clearly comprehend the minutest scenario for every decision. Their attention to detail is tremendous. Therefore, when a man has reached a conclusion, he feels extremely satisfied with his decision and assumes his spouse will affirm his efforts through agreeing with his final plan. Why shouldn't she immediately accept his decision? He has invested himself intently to provide a response that is so well thought out it can't be wrong!

But, she then rolls a "hand grenade" into the conversation under the guise of "I just don't feel right about this but can't explain why. I'm just not sure we ought to do this" which, in turn, "explodes" in the face of his assumed success. Why does she do this? How can she not have some sort of factual response that can help him understand her discomfort? The answer is that she can't. But, at the same time, there is no need for him to take this personally; it's a matter that this is one way in which she is so different from him.

A few years ago it was discovered by medical researchers that there is a chemical wash that creates a form of severing of the hemispheres of the brain only in male children. This natural phenomenon occurs while the infant is yet in the womb. This "wash" is what permits men to have such an extraordinary level of practical, logical and mechanical skill and understanding. The reason is that his logical side is separated from his emotional side. (Yes, he does have an emotional side but it's overshadowed by the strength of the logical-mechanical side.) Men have remarkable concrete, dimensional understandings that women do not have. This is one of the important roles they bring into the marriage though they often express that it sometimes seems pointless to invest the effort to give a detailed plan only to have it seemingly pummeled by her verbal response. Don't give up! This is not nearly as complicated as it seems to be.

Women, who are abstract in their thinking because they were created by the Creator to be emotional and intuitive in makeup, simply don't have that ability to visualize things dimensionally. Because of their emotional prowess, their skills and talents in the care and management of the family and the household supercedes the abilities of their husbands. That's why the Bible calls for a wife to be the manager of the home and not the husband (more in a future article). She can multitask; he cannot. The reason for this strong emotional ability is because both sides of her brain are in constant interaction, unlike his. She has a logical dimension as well as he does but, because of the consistent and persistent interaction between the emotional and logical sides, we find it more difficult for her to respond in practical and logical ways - the emotional gets in the way by "running over" the logical aspects because of the strength of the emotional. The result is that she does have a reason for disagreeing but cannot verbally explain in detail as to why. It simply comes across as a "gut" feeling within her that we call "intuition." There is a complex response locked up deep within her that can't get past the emotional flurry of stimuli. It's really not an attempt to negate his efforts; it's simply that unexplainable feeling that for her there's something missing in the equation. It doesn't make her right and him wrong. That's why the next step has to be taken.

When this disagreement that is born of her "intuition" rears its head, it's important that both stop and take time to reflect before proceeding with any plan related to the issue at hand. In my own experience I have found that time and again patience often revealed the reason for her apprehension that was once unexplainable. Over time the unknown reason for her anxiety that lurked unseen in shadows was ultimately bathed in light showing us that we were right to wait. Waiting actually brought about correction and better timing on many occasions, which brought about greater success than we imagined would unfold. Waiting also brought us closer together as we learned to patiently wait to see how the Lord was really leading. Sometimes I was right; sometimes she was right. But overall, we were right together more often than not.

The summary is simply this: if she disagrees with him, he shouldn't take it personally. Accept it as it is, a "gut" feeling of "intuition" on her part that cannot be logically expressed because of the way she was "wired" at creation. Know that her answer is logical but can't be expressed verbally like he can. Wait it out together and grow together into victorious living.

(c)2006 Mel Menker

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