From Al Lowe’s joke e-mail (al.allowe.com) with tweaks by yours truly.

An icon of the entertainment industry passed on last week: The Pillsbury Doughboy died of a yeast infection and complications from repeated pokes to the belly. He was 71. Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. The graveside was piled high with flours. The eulogy was delivered by Aunt Jemima who lovingly described Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded. Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. Considered not the smartest cookie, he wasted much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Despite being flaky, he was a crusty old man, and a roll model for millions. Doughboy is survived by his wife, Play Dough, two children, John Dough and Jane Dough, plus another one in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly father, Pop Tart. The funeral was held at 3:50 for 20 minutes. But as one pasty eyed mourner said as he panned the leavened crowd, "Our leader was not the type to loaf about in fine-grained luxury. He has fallen, but he will rise again."