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  Home > Language > Articles Popular: Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry      Authors: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z     

Leland Waldrip

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Member Since: Aug, 2001

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For those who love language:-
by Leland Waldrip   
Rated "G" by the Author.
     
Recent articles by
Leland Waldrip

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If this list of gotchas has been published recently on AD I apologize. There are still some nice zingers on it, even so. And I only wish I had the moxie to originate these cuties. My contribution was to garner them from the Internet and post them.


 

 

1. Those who jump off a bridge in Paris...are in-Seine.
2. A backward poet writes...inverse.
3 A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.
4. Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.
5. Practice safe eating - always use condiments.
6. Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.
7. A man needs a mistress...just to break the monogamy.
8. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
9. Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.
10. Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
11. Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.
12. Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.
13. When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.
14. A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two tired.
15. The definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway.)
16. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
17. In democracy, your vote counts. In feudalism your count votes.
18. She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off.
19. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
20. If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.
21. With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
22. When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.
23. The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
24. You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
25. Local Area Network in Australia: ... the LAN down under.
26. He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
27. Every calendar's days are numbered.
28. a lot of money is tainted - It taint yours and it taint mine.
29. A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
30. He had a photographic memory that was never developed.
31. A plateau is a high form of flattery.
32. A midget fortune-teller who escapes from prison is a small medium At large.
33. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
34. Once you've seen one shopping centre, you've seen a mall.
35. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.
36. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
37. Acupuncture is a jab well done
 


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Reviewed by Ronald Hull
Reviewed on February 12, 2006
She had freckles on her, but she was nice.

Ron

Reviewed on February 12, 2006
I had never seen this list before, but I love language(s) and these clever, very creative uses of the English one are absolutely delightful! Although they're all brilliant, my very favourites are nrs. 2, 11 and 30! LOL! What a gem you are, dearest friend!
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} and love,
Alexandra*

Reviewed on February 10, 2006
WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA! ROTF, LMAO...haven't seen this before, I don't think...methinks I've gone InSeine. :) DEFINATELY saving this. Priceless!

(((HUGS))) and love, Karla.

Reviewed on February 10, 2006
Leland, your a peach...this is wonderful. A nice way to relax after 32 loud grade sixers.

Hugs, Trish

Reviewed by Tinka Boukes
Reviewed on February 10, 2006
Oh you are something els :)!!

A jab welldone!!

Love Tinky :)


Reviewed by C. J. Stevens
Reviewed on February 10, 2006
These are a true delight - one grins hugely and marvels at the wit of it!
CJ

Reviewed by Jerry Bolton (Reader)
Reviewed on February 10, 2006
Gotta love it, Leland, and I do. Insanity rules!

Reviewed on February 9, 2006
Thanks Leland for a delightful article. I needed a laugh today and I read this piece right on time. Peace, love, and blessings. Mikii

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