Love--What is it?
When I was undergoing radiation daily for cancer, I entertained myself with magazines in the doctor’s waiting room. One article grabbed my attention. The author was expounding on the meaning of love. She said something similar to: love is a mental illness creating chemical reactions in a person’s brain that cause us to behave differently and often do quite irrational things.
While there is a measure of validity to everyone’s opinion—as it applies to self—I can only guess that the author of the article obviously had a love affair that went awry and she is giving NOT a description of love, but a description of aberration after love is no longer reciporcated.
I grew up on familial love that certainly had a whole different meaning than the author's description. Love meant giving, sharing, caring for the well-being of another. It was an inherent feeling of warmth and devotion for one’s family, spouse, and friends, a strong need to see them well and happy. Love was the desire to send out waves of nurturing affection, feelings of tenderness and kindness, which comprised an abstract state of emotional wholeness reciprocated in full abundance.
Like most things in life, I’ve seen the blissful state of love evolve into a selfish feel-good mentality (close family units are the exception). Love is here today and gone tomorrow, as it tends to be self-serving instead of other-oriented. Although it is a basic need of life, it loses its purpose and lack of fulfillment when it is not reciprocal. In other words, if one is sufficiently engrossed in one’s own need as opposed to fulfilling the need of another, the true meaning of love is lost—thus, becoming eroded by the feel-good mentality that constantly seeks self-gratification.
There is much more to be said about “love” and its place in everyone’s lives. Love to hear your opinions.
I think the word "love" is bandied about much too lightly, much like the word "aloha" in Hawaii. In casual everyday usage, we trivialize the word and desensitize ourselves to deeper meanings. I'm as guilty of this as anyone. And, Jeanette, your closing line tells us you would "love" to hear our opinions. Not really. I think you want to hear our opinions and are eager to hear our opinions, but the word "love" is being diluted. I say this not in criticism but only in commentary.
I certainly agree with your definition of love to include giving, sharing, caring for the well-being of another...affection...feelings of tenderness and kindness, and all the feelings of warmth and devotion you describe.
One of the most important aspects of love you describe has to do with reciprocity. I think the emotion of mature love is wholly unfulfilled and undeveloped when the feeling of love is not returned by the object of your affection.
"Love" takes two acting in concert to ripen into what you described as "wholeness" and "full abundance." And in that description, I think you hit the nail squarely on the head.
Physical attraction and sharing physical intimacy are aspects of love, but these feelings and emotions are not love, itself. Far too often in our society we intermingle "making love" with "love." (I spent a few paragraphs talking about this in review of E.T. Waldron's posting entitled, "I Know You Want Me." To save us all time and duplication, I would ask you to read my comments on her den page.)
I think far too many younger people--men and women--speak of love and making love as being synonomous. And when through neglect or lack of dedicated interest their passion for the other person wanes, they attribute it to falling out of love when, in reality, they were never really in love but more "in lust."
"Cherish" is one word I would suggest that is inseparable from love.
A young man may be eager to take his young lady to bed for some "loving," when all he really means is "making love." He may in his own mind "cherish" the act as wonderfully self-gratifying, but he usually fails to comprehend the emotion of "cherishing" the woman he's with not for her reciprocal ability to thrill him physically but for the very fact that he cherishes her as his partner in love and life, cherishes her as the most special person in the world, in bed or out, cherishes her in soulful harmony of spirit.
Inherently, "cherish" speaks of one's emotions and feelings for the other. It does not encompass your self-interest for your own betterment.
If you don't "cherish" the one you say you love, then you don't really love them. They're merely an object by which and through which you better yourself and, like a paper plate at a picnic, you toss them aside when their usefulness no longer satisfies your needs.
People in love don't grow out of love, they grow deeper and deeper in love as they in life share more and more.
Jeanette, your postings always seem to generate an enormous amount of emotional and mental energy on my part. And right now, I feel like I need another two or three or four pages to even come close to offering my opinion on "Love," even though you say you would "love" to hear my opinion.
So let me close my review by offering this comment, as I did in Waldron's page: I can still paddle my canoe as swiftly as I did thirty years ago. The difference is that now, with the woman I love, I know where I'm heading and I enjoy her sharing in the paddling.
My love to you, dear Jeanette,
Richard
There is love that makes memories happy and our homes beautiful, and forms our sunlight from childhood, beaming into adulthood, up to our darkened death, but the other love...blending of hearts in unity, is pureness, unselfishness, and discreet. Without it our homes would have no organization. This love is heaven on earth! Love casts away fear, and yet, naturally, we offend what we love most! It is oneness of soul with soul, in appreciation and perfect trust! It binds in one bundle of life! I am on an roll! LOL!
Love and Peace~
Kimmy~
I see love as existing for the sake of family - love between spouses for the sake of having family - love between man and woman for the sake of being spouses to have family - and the only way it can exist after the children are grown is to turn love into friendship. Friendship develops, or doesn't, between siblings through mutual respect. So love and respect can be interchanged, right?