Empty-nest syndrome eventually hits adult children, too.......

    Well, it is cloudy, gloomy and we have had a few thunderstorms overnight, so better to remain indoors than chance going out. I have spent most of the morning catching up on reading the many local newspapers. I came across this article and as usual thought I would pass it along. This article was in the papers a few days ago, but it was much too informative for me to pass up.

    "It is not only the parents of grown children who grapple with the empty-nest syndrome. Caregivers who lose their elderly parents go through a similar sense of loss. Many of them find themselves at loose ends, feeling they have lost their identity and purpose.
     Dutiful and loving adult children look after parents for years, advocating, cooking, laundering, chauffeuring and supervising. Then, Mom or Dad dies and the grown children are left with many hours to fill."
     This poses a delemma for so many, yet it is hardly ever mentioned to friends and other family members. Most tend to keep their feelings bottled up inside of them, rather than sharing what they are experiencing.
     A loss is a loss regardless of which end of the spectrum it is coming from. When you stay to yourself and keep your emotions in check, they will manifest into many factions of daily life.
   "Now what do you do as a former dutiful child" What do you do with your extra time? How do you redirect the effort you once put into caregiving? To begin with you get through the grieving process."
     I realize that it is usually easier said than done, but we all need to begin someplace, right?
Take your time to sort out your feeling first, then you will free yourself to move forward.
     You will soon begin to realize that you can fill your free time with many worth-while activities if you choose to. As always the choice is yours to make. This is also a good time to re-discover all those activities that you once enjoyed, but put aside temporarily to perform the task of caregiver.
     Never will anyone try to have you forget, just help you to find new ways to fill your days with happiness and joy. Perhaps you will remember a task, hobby or interest that you once wanted to conquer, but were unable. Now, you can turn your attentions to these activities and perhaps find peace and solitude.
   "Be patient with yourself. Give yourself permission to feel sad, to grieve in your own way and on your own time frame. Some people limp to the other side much slower than others and that is okay."
    "One morning, you will awaken and realize that the sun is shining. You will feel lighter and happy again. You will realize a whole world awaits you, one that does not revolve around prescription drugs and diapers."
    "You will start remembering the good times with your parents, while the tough times will begin to recede. Take advantage of this opportunity to reclaim yourself and your life. You have earned it."
   "What you have learned from your caregiving experience can make a huge difference if you decide to use it. And what a wonderful tribute to the parents you loved and helped through their last stage of life."
     Yes, there are many different options open to you for decision making. Take your time until you find something that feels right for you. In the beginning, just give it some thought.

 

Thank you!
Karen Palumbo